He went very still.“That’s the first time you’ve ever said those words to me.”
“Yes.But it’s not the first time I’ve thought them.”
He shifted to lie on top of her.Looked deep into her eyes, searching for… what?To be sure?He kissed her, slow and sweet.“It feels like forever that I’ve been waiting to hear you tell me you loved me.”
“I was afraid to admit it.”
“But you’re not anymore?”
“A little,” she said honestly.“But I’m tired of not accepting what I’ve been given.Our baby.And a chance with you.”
He kissed her again and they made love.Slowly, touching each other with wonder and joy.And when he was inside her at last, he said it again.“I love you.So much.”
*
The next coupleof weeks as summer settled in were some of the best Ryan could remember.He loved his job.He’d always liked his profession, other than the times he lost a patient or couldn’t do anything to help them.Even during the war, surgery had been satisfying.Usually.But Marietta Hospital was by far his favorite place to work since he’d left the army.
There were many reasons for that.A lot of them because of the town itself.It was a friendly town, the people going out of their way to welcome newcomers.Although he couldn’t be called a newcomer anymore.And even though the hospital drew patients from a larger area, the town itself was still small with a small-town vibe.Which he liked a lot.
But the main reason he was happy in Marietta had nothing to do with any of that.What made him happy were Aria and Sophie.Ryan had never expected that he’d be fortunate enough to have a family.He’d never realized how absorbing a baby could be.And being able to share her, to share in his delight with every milestone reached, and every smile and babbled sound was a miracle.
Even though Aria had admitted she loved him, something he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have happen, he knew she was still holding back a part of herself.She didn’t fully trust him and he wasn’t sure she ever would.Then there was the fact that he couldn’t figure out a way to convince her he had no intention of leaving her, or Sophie, or Marietta.
He could ask her to marry him.Which, he realized, he’d do in a heartbeat if he thought she’d agree.But he didn’t believe she would.So he’d wait.He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for other than a sign that she was finally starting to trust him again.Really trust him.
Other than time passing, he didn’t know how to convince her of his sincerity.Be happy with what you have,he lectured himself.She said she loved you.She’s sharing Sophie with you.Those are big commitments in themselves.Give her time.
He was considering if there was any way to convince Aria of his sincerity when he got to her house after work.Whitney was with the baby and told him Aria was at the greenhouse, so after kissing Sophie hello, he went out the back to the greenhouse.He was amazed at how quickly the place had come together.He knew she didn’t have all the plants she wanted yet, but it looked as if it was ready for business.
When he opened the door, Aria said, “Thank God you got here.I need—” She broke off when she saw it was him.“Oh, Ryan.I thought you were Rodney.”
“Is he your new part-time hire?”
“He was.Not anymore.This is the third time he didn’t show up when he was supposed to.Three strikes.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing.Why don’t you go play with Sophie?I’ll be in shortly.”
“Whitney’s got her.Let me help you.”
Before long he was helping her propagate a plant, putting each cutting in a small plastic container filled with soil.“Thanks,” she said when they finished.“That would have taken me twice as long without your help.”
“You were at least twice as fast as I was.”
“Practice.”She went to the sink to wash her hands and he followed.Drying her hands she said, “I have a question for you.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“I feel like I should call my father but I still have unresolved feelings about all this.A part of me wants to forgive him and a part of me can’t.”
“Is it the PTSD?You still don’t know what to think about it?”
“I guess.I’ve heard a lot about it and I’ve read some too.Especially since he told me about it.But other than my father when I was too young to realize it, I’ve never been around it firsthand.You have.”
“Yes, both when I was in the army and since I left.PTS or PTSD is different for each person.PTS can often be resolved without psychiatric help.PTSD is more severe and requires more therapy and often hospital stays.Some people can live an almost normal life.”Like me.“Others need a lot of therapy but eventually can cope.Mostly, anyway.A large number of those who suffer PTS or PTSD are homeless.And then there are people who simply can’t live with it.Did you know there are over seventeen veteran suicides a day?”
“I’d heard it was more.”
