I reach down and stroke my own cock with urgency. His head is pushed back against the pillow as his cum fills my mouth and seconds later, I come in my hand, entirely spent.
We lie in the dark.
His ceiling is textured. There's a water stain in one corner shaped like South America. I'm cataloging it because if I stop cataloging things I'll start crying, and I don't want to cry. Or I do want to cry but not yet.
He finds my hand. He threads his fingers through mine.
“You alive?”
“Yeah.”
He huffs a laugh into my hair.
“Still a virgin?”
“No.”
He huffs a laugh.
“No.”
I turn my head. He is looking at the ceiling too. His profile is hard and soft at once in the blue light.
“Maddox.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
He turns his head. He looks at me. Something goes across his face that I don't have a name for.
“Don't thank me for that.”
“Why?”
“Just don't.”
I don't.
I roll into him. He puts his arm around my back. His hand splays flat between my shoulder blades and he breathes out slow into my hair.
Outside, somewhere, there is a city. Somewhere, my father is watching tape. Somewhere, a clock is running that will eventually run out on us.
In here, it's dark and warm and his chest is under my ear and for the first time in my life I don't want to be anywhere else.
I close my eyes.
He's still awake when I fall asleep. I feel him still awake. His hand on my back doesn't move. His breath doesn't slow.
I don't know what he's thinking.
I know what I'm thinking.
This is mine now. I'm keeping this.
14
MADDOX
