I am in this all the way.
Fine. Let me be in it.
I put coffee on. I sit at the counter and watch the gray of the city go lighter and I think about the kid walking home and I think,If Paul puts a hand on him, I will break Paul's fucking hand off at the wrist.
The coffee machine beeps.
I pour a cup.
I drink it standing at the window.
I'm smiling.
15
THEO
The front door is unlocked.
That's the first thing I notice. Paul locks the door. Paul locks the door every night, every morning, every time he leaves for ten minutes to get the mail. The door being unlocked at seven twenty-two on a Thursday morning means Paul has been sitting behind it waiting for me.
I stand on the step for a second. I breathe once, twice. My shirt's still on inside out. Maddox's boxers are still riding up under my jeans. I can feel the bite mark on my shoulder under the collar.
Okay. Time to go in.
Paul's at the kitchen island. He's already dressed. Shirt buttoned. Hair combed. Coffee in a mug. The mug has the team logo on it. He doesn't look up when the door opens. He keeps his eyes on his iPad. He's not reading anything. The screen's dark.
“Where were you?”
No,good morning. No,I was worried.
“Out.”
I set my keys on the hall table. Slow. So they don't rattle.
“Out where?”
“With a friend.”
He doesn't look up.
“Which friend?”
“You don't know them.”
He looks up.
Twenty years of this look and my body still goes small. Every cell in me wants to shrink down and saysorryand offer up whatever information he wants. Maddox's voice is in my head.Not his. Yours.I keep my hand on the counter. I don't grip it. I don't shake. Much.
“You didn't come home.”
“No.”
His thumb taps once against the mug handle.
“You didn't call.”
“No.”
