‘You don’t need to do this on your own. It’s time I said something and stopped trying to play the nice guy.’
He was looking out for her, Cleo knew. He was stuck between his fiancée and his daughter, much like Cleo’s dad had once been trying to please Cleo and Teresa. And she’d never gone easy on either of them. ‘I do need to do this on my own, Dylan. Ruby will be expecting you to tell her off, me to cry and then Prue to pick her up to take her for dinner.’ Dylan had already called it off with Prue and she’d been more than happy to postpone, citing Christmas drinks with friends – most likely to let Dylan know she had a social life of her own. She’d always been in some weird kind of competition, childish but completely Prue.
When Ruby eventually braved coming downstairs, Cleo asked her to come into the lounge and shut the door behind them. ‘You and I need to talk.’ Silence. ‘Why did you do it, Ruby?’ More silence. ‘Come on, you’re not leaving this room until we’ve had this out.’ She was no longer angry, just sad.
Cleo moved Ruby’s hand that was tugging at the loose thread on the bottom of her favourite multicoloured sweater, which Cleo had knitted for her last year, thankful it had escaped the chop this morning unlike the photographs.
When Ruby began to cry Cleo could tell she wasn’t doing it for attention or because she thought it would save her from having to divulge what was going on. The little girl was genuinely upset, confused, and Cleo waited for the tears to flow, handed her a tissue and stayed by her side. ‘I thought you and I were friends,’ she said when Ruby’s sobs had faded to a subtle sniff. ‘I don’t think friends cut each other out of photographs, do you?’
‘No.’ Ruby looked younger than her ten years now, forlorn, nose snotty, hair falling across her cheeks so Cleo couldn’t see her.
‘Why, Ruby?’ She hooked Ruby’s hair over her ears so she could see her face. ‘I’m going to let you in on a bit of a secret.’ Red eyes looked up at her. ‘Nanny Teresa is, as you know, my stepmother. But what you never knew was that once upon a time I didn’t get on with her.’
Her sniffling stalled as she looked up at Cleo. ‘But you love Nanny Teresa.’
‘Now I do. But back then I was rude, mean, or I just didn’t talk to her.’ Ruby took a shuddering breath, verging on the point of tears that threatened to come again, but Cleo ploughed on. ‘I didn’t like her at all when my dad first met her. I thought she was trying to replace my mum. I suppose in some ways I also thought she’d take my dad away from me, and I’d already lost one parent.’ Cleo smiled. ‘Since I got to know Teresa and stopped seeing her as the enemy, we get on really well. She’s kind, loyal, fun, she loves me and, what’s more, she makes my dad very happy. But it took me many years to be able to see that. And my dad was too nice to me, Teresa too, because they backed off and let me work my way through it. I’m not sure if I wish they hadn’t, or whether it was all for the best.’
She led Ruby over to the sofa and sat them both down. ‘Nanny Teresa came to see me here in New York when I had my store in the city. Before that I’d been civil to her but not much else. But when she came, we really talked and I got to know her, how insecure she’d been feeling, how much she longed for my approval.’ She clasped Ruby’s hand. ‘You see, losing a parent is really hard, whether it’s the way I lost my mum or the way you lost yours.’
‘But I still have my mom.’
‘But she’s not with your dad anymore, and I think that sometimes makes you sad.’
‘It does.’
‘Do you wish they’d get back together?’
This time Ruby shook her head. ‘Dad says they used to fight a lot. Mom says it too. I don’t think they’d be very good together anymore.’
‘But you’ve still lost something, Ruby, that’s what I’m trying to say. Maybe you’ve lost the idea of your mum and dad being together. I understand, I really do. But I’ll never try to replace your mum, and I’ll never take your dad away from you. He has a whole lot of love to give, for all of us.’
‘That’s not it.’
‘No?’
Ruby’s tears started again and this time Cleo pulled her to her. ‘Talk to me, Ruby, please. I can’t help if you don’t.’
It took her a while but eventually Ruby got the words out. ‘You ran away.’
‘From England? Well, yes, I suppose I did.’
‘Not that time.’
‘Then what time are you talking about?’
‘You ran off once, you went missing, before your friend’s wedding.’
‘How did you know about that?’ She and Dylan had always been careful not to frighten the kids with too much adult stuff, but her doing a runner that one and only time had been something they’d likely talked about thinking they weren’t overheard, not realising little ears always had a surprising ability to pick up the things you really didn’t want them to hear rather than those you did.
‘I heard you and Dad talking.’
Cleo thought how best to word this. ‘I did disappear but not for long, I needed space. I never said anything because we didn’t want you kids to worry.’
‘You ran away from us.’
‘Oh no, is that what you think?’ She pulled Ruby in tighter and planted a kiss on the top of her head. ‘Is that what’s got you so upset and worried? I love you all, I promise you that.’
‘Jacob and I aren’t your children.’
