FOUR
THERON
Ledger had been with us for a week, and my children had claimed him as theirs, though not how mydragonwanted to claim him. The kids had done it by shadowing him, chatting, and perhaps their dragon instinct telling them this new person in their lives cared about them and wasn’t going to disappear in the middle of the night.
And so far, none of the kids had chafed against using the bracelets.
Fraser was the first to attach himself to our new manny. His warm little hand was often tucked in Ledger’s, even if he wasn’t leading him somewhere. When Ledger bathed him, my younger son slung one arm over the tub and gripped his fingers. Fraser told him about how he planned to cover the back yard in chili plants, and when Ledger asked if he liked chili, Fraser told him it kindled the heat inside him.
“Daddy taught me that big word, ‘kindled.’”
I couldn’t imagine what Ledger thought of that response, but he was still here.
Yesterday I’d been caught up on a conference call that went long, and I texted Ledger to read the kids their bedtime story.When I peeked into Skye’s room, she had gotten out of bed—or maybe she’d never been in it—and was curled up on Ledger’s lap. The two boys were on the bed listening to Ledger read.
I crept away, not because I didn’t want to join them, but I was overcome with emotion that our new manny adored my kids. If only he felt the same way about me.
Our mate is good with the children,my dragon murmured.
Knowing Ledger was living with us, my dragon was more content, waiting for me to mark him.
I only ask you to mate him once a dayor every hour.
That was still less than you pestered me on the first day.
Rory had been slower to accept Ledger. My oldest had asked Ledger how long he was going to stay as he was bundling the kids out the door for school. I’d hovered near the kitchen entrance, concerned I’d caused my children harm by hiring outside help, because the constant upheavals had taught them not to trust anyone but me.
“As long as you, your brother, your sister, and your dad want me, I’ll stay.” Ledger ruffled Rory’s hair, and my son grinned and his cheeks pinkened.
I worried that Ledger couldn’t say that with absolute certainty. He'd signed on for two years, but when he got his PhD, he’d want a different job, one that would stretch his intelligence and use the skills he’d gained from his years at university.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and almost spilled the coffee. Resting my head on the doorway, I listened to Ledger hustle the kids outside. But just before he stepped through the door, he glanced toward the kitchen and caught my eye. For one of the few times in my life, goosebumps spread over my skin.
Oh, so that’s what it feels like. I don’t like it, my dragon huffed.I’m too hot.
I thought back to Skye’s comment about me liking Ledger’s scent. She was right, because it was everywhere, and she’ddiscovered me sniffing the handrail on the stairs, the sofa cushions, and the curtains. I had to stop doing it because if Ledger caught me, he might pack his two suitcases and dash out of our lives. But it soothed my dragon and stopped his incessant chatter about when I was going to make Ledger mine.
I’d been spending more time than necessary in my office, because when the kids were in bed and Ledger was off duty, I’d taken to hovering in the corridor outside his suite. That was creepy, and if he caught me, my only excuse would be that I needed something from the storeroom. But that would only work once. I considered the irony of me desperately wanting to kiss, stroke, and hug my mate, but that the mating instinct which had me needing to be close to him might drive him away.
Late at night when I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to sleep because images of Ledger filled my head, I pictured him directly above my bedroom. My shifter hearing picked up when he was tapping on the computer keyboard. The running water in the bathroom suggested he was taking a shower, and the click of the lamp told me he was in bed.
Go to him.
No.
He's right up there.
I said no.
My obsession with wanting to be near him and needing to know what he was doing was affecting my work, sleep, and my whole life. So, I forced myself to go to the office, work, and snooze on the couch. By the time I made it back to the house, Ledger was asleep. He still filled my dreams, but I couldn’t rid him from my subconscious.
I was sitting in my office trying to concentrate on a portfolio rebalance when I heard laughter from the house. As it was early Friday evening, the kids were allowed to stay up later. I should have been with them, but I was avoiding Ledger’s intoxicatingscent, his humming when he was doing chores, and how his eyes found me when I was in the room.
The laughing wasn’t just coming from my children, but Ledger was joining in. If this had happened with any of the previous mannies, I would have been sprinting over the lawn, attempting to thwart them packing up their room and leaving. Laughter wasn’t always about joy. In my house, it often signaled hysteria.
I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes. Vince had laughed like that. The memories of him and me together and with our babies always stung. He was somewhere in the universe, but he wasn’t here with me and the kids.
Vince and I had loved one another, and we’d created a family, until a careless driver took him from us. His death almost ended my life too. I’d been so distraught not only for myself, but also for our children losing their papa and knowing I could never make up for the loss.
