She slipped from his lap and fetched the tray of food and drink Megan had left for them. Kneeling by his feet, she laid everything out on a low table in front of the fire.
“Do ye mind answerin’ me questions now?” she asked as she poured him a tankard of ale.
“Aye, I suppose I might as well get it over with. It seems like ye’re nae goin’ to be happy until I do,” he said, grabbing the tankard and taking a long draught.
“Do ye nae like talkin’ about it?” she asked curiously, having never thought of it from his point of view.
“Nay, nae really. When ye’ve seen some of the things I’ve seen, ye’d rather forget about it. I’m sick of fightin’.”
“Och, I’m sorry, Edan. I didnae think of that.”
“But go on and ask away. I’ll answer ye as best as I can.”
“Well, I was very worried when yer letters stopped comin’,” she explained. “What happened to keep ye from writin’?”
“While the fightin’ was limited to Castle McCallum, I received yer letters and I could be fairly certain that me replies wouldreach ye. But later on, things got more intense. The O’Brians hired some Irish mercenaries to join their forces to fight against us. After that, I was out in the field the whole time, and we had to move far across the country and keep movin’ our camp just to avoid bein’ overrun.”
“Och, Edan, that’s terrible! I’ve heard that those Irish mercenaries are devils,” Olivia exclaimed, more concerned for him than ever.
“Aye, they’re ruthless all right. That’s why unscrupulous clans like the O’Brians hire them. Anyway, with more men, they had us pretty much pinned down in one place for weeks in a sort of siege. Nothin’ could get in or out. We ran short on supplies, but we had nay choice but to sit tight and wait it out.”
“And what happened? How did ye get out in the end?” she asked, cutting him a generous slice of veal and ham pie and putting it on a plate for him.
“Reinforcements from another of the McCallums’ allies finally came to help us. That gave us the numbers to launch a counterattack and break through enemy lines. Then, there was a series of battles in quick succession. We lost a lot of men. It took us a long time to defeat the enemy, and then we had to trek all the way back to McCallum lands and negotiate peace.”
“All that fightin’. It seems like a miracle that ye survived,” Olivia said.
“Aye, that’s what I thought,” he told her drily, taking a bite of the pie.
They continued talking throughout the meal, and she was pleased when he answered her questions. Yet, she could not help feeling disappointed by his lack of warmth towards her. He was strangely unemotional, as though he was always holding something of himself back from her.
She noticed that he did not ask her a single question about what she had been doing while he was away. When she compared it to the obvious interest he had shown in her body, the difference seemed glaring.
Surely, she thought as she watched him covertly over her wine goblet,if he’s prepared to wait to claim me as his wife by agreein’ to go on five dates, then he must be interested in more than just the physical side of things. So, why is he so cold towards me?
Shortly after they had finished eating, he added to her confusion when he suddenly got to his feet and said, “Well, I hope I’ve answered yer questions now, so I’ll bid ye goodnight.”
“What? Ye’re leavin’ already?” she asked, taken aback and not a little disappointed.
“Aye. I’m tired, and I’m sure ye must be as well,” he replied, striding off to the door.
“Oh. All right. Goodnight then,” she said, watching as he disappeared through the door and closed it firmly behind him. She stared at it, bewildered by his unfathomable behavior.
I ken that our marriage is one of convenience, and I dinnae expect him to love me. But since we have to spend the rest of our lives together, would it nae be better to try to make the best of it?
She retired to bed unhappily and lay awake for some time, wondering if she was going to have to spend the rest of her life with such a cold a man, lie with him and give him children while deprived of affection. She looked ahead to the bleak possibility of married life without even the consolation of mutual respect and friendship between man and wife. And it terrified her.
I must try harder.I must find a way to get through to him. Or face a lifetime of misery.
Edan awoke the next morning in his bed, alone. He sat up, yawned mightily, rubbed his eyes, and stretched until his bones cracked. He glanced at the white expanse of empty pillow beside his. It prompted him to think what a great pity it was that his wife was not lying next to him, naked, her glorious blonde hair spread about her sweet face like a halo. And preferably with a smile of satisfaction on her sleepy face.
He was disappointed for failing to consummate his marriage the previous night. However, disturbingly, he found that had a lotless to do with duty and the need to produce heirs to ensure the future of his clan than he ever could have imagined during his absence.
It had far more to do with the woman he had come home to. His marriage to Olivia Kilmartin had been purely strategic, an alliance forged with her brother, Thomas, the new Laird McFair, after her father’s death. She was meant to be a bride of convenience. He had intended to do his husbandly duty by her, and that would be it.
But that was before he had returned home and had to deal with her. He had to admit to himself that it was not going to plan. Olivia had not exactly greeted him with open arms, and who could blame her? They were strangers. She was not some courtesan for hire. She was his wife. There was no way he was going to force himself on her and have her hate him for the rest of their married life.
But there was another, much more important reason why he was prepared to wait and woo her as she wished. She was probably the only woman he had ever met who had not recoiled in fear and horror at his scars. And that intrigued him more than he could say.
