Within a few minutes, a constant supply of water was being efficiently ferried from the pond to the barn.
By then, Edan had stationed a team of men to deploy it at the base of the ladders, where the buckets were hauled up to the rake men, who doused the roof with water to try to prevent any further spread of the flames.
Luckily, there was not much wind, so the danger presented by flying sparks was not as great as Edan feared it would be. The last thing he needed was for the neighboring buildings to catchfire as well. The whole village could end up being burnt to the ground if that happened.
Once he had organized everything, he took a moment to look around for Olivia. Even though he had been occupied, she had never been far from his thoughts, and knowing how headstrong she could be, he was terrified she might get herself into danger.
And I’ll nae be able to save her!
Though outwardly calm, inside he was in turmoil, knowing he would not be able to live with himself if anything bad happened to her. He had failed to protect his father, and it had made him feel like a monster, cursed almost, placing anyone he loved in danger through his inability to protect them. Better than not to love at all.
Inwardly, he berated himself for letting Olivia persuade him to bring her with him against his better judgment. Giving in to her like that had been reckless—it put her in the path of danger. His growing inability to refuse her anything scared him.
When he scanned the watching crowd and could not see her, a hard knot of fear tightened in his belly.
But however much he wanted to go and find her, his duty as Laird meant he had to stay and help the villagers fight the fire that threatened their sustenance. So, he tried to put his worries about Olivia aside for the moment and threw himself into fighting the fire.
After some time, their efforts started to pay off. Gradually, the fire began to die down as the barn was gradually soaked. With everything under control, he decided he could wait no longer. He went to find Olivia.
He found her with a group of women and children, their faces streaked with soot, and sometimes tears as well, all looking scared stiff as they huddled in a cottage doorway a little way down the main street. She was hunkering down among them, holding a child on her lap as though trying to distract it from its fear.
I told her to stay put.
Edan’s fear for her safety manifested as anger as he strode towards the group.
Olivia saw him coming and stood up, the child perched on her hip. His kerchief had slipped from her face, so he could see her expression clearly as she came to meet him.
“Edan!” she exclaimed, smiling and sounding so relieved to see him that his heart clenched painfully. “Thank goodness, ye’re safe. I was worried about ye. Have ye managed to put out the fire?”
Dumbfounded by the sight of her, he stood mutely, looking her up and down. She was filthy, covered in smudges of soot from head to toe, and there were streaks of what looked like blood on her clothes, arms, and face. That immediately set off alarm bells in his head.
Is that her blood? Is she hurt?’Tis me fault if she’s hurt.I should have been with her. I should never have let her out of me sight.
The knot in his belly tightened excruciatingly, and pain flared in his chest. Suddenly, the same nightmarish images of war that plagued his sleep every night flashed through his mind.
“Edan, are ye all right?” she asked, her blackened forehead creasing in concern as she came closer to him, bouncing the child—a small girl, he vaguely realized—on her hip as if it were her own.
“Whose blood is that?” he asked finally, staring fixedly at the dark brown streaks.
“Och, it’s from wee Laurie here,” she said, smiling at the child as she bounced her on her hip. “She got separated from her ma in all the chaos and got scared of the fire and all the people. She fell over when she was runnin’ away and hurt her knee. I found her cryin’ and took her to her family. That’s her ma over there.” She smiled at one of the women in the doorway.
Edan did not even bother to look. His focus was solely on Olivia. He was relieved that the blood was not hers, but not muchbecause he knew it so easily could have been. Self-recrimination flooded through him as he angrily berated himself once more.
I’m a monster. I should never have brought her here. This is nay place for an innocent like her. By givin’ in to her, I’ve exposed her to danger.
On top of that, the guilty knowledge and feelings of failure that had been tearing him in two crystallized in his mind.
By rights, I should be out huntin’ down Nurkirk. I need to kill him for what he’s doin’ to me people. But I’m failin’ in me duty as Laird to protect them because I’ve promised nae to leave her. And because I cannae say nay to her, I’m puttin’ them in danger too!
Realization dawned on him then, though he felt even more of a monster for thinking it. Despite all he had done to keep her at arm’s length, his wife was turning out to be his greatest weakness. And he did not know what to do about it.
16
“Och, Eileen, ’tis so good to see ye. I’ve missed ye so much!” Olivia exclaimed joyfully the following morning, rushing to embrace her younger sister as Eileen stepped out of her carriage and into the castle courtyard.
Her face wreathed in smiles, Eileen hugged her back fiercely. “I’m so glad to see ye too, Sister. Thank ye for invitin’ me to come and stay with ye for the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. I’m so lookin’ forward to it.”
When they finally broke apart, she studied Olivia’s face and gave an approving nod.
