“It is.” She smiled at him, shifting so she could see him better. “Now, tell me about this nightmare of yers.”
He hesitated for a moment, but then he seemed to decide to talk.
“Well, ’tis difficult to ken where to start. They’re nae all the same, but they’re variations of the same theme. I’m always back fightin’ on the battlefield. The noise of men, injured and dyin’, deafens me. The fightin’ never ends. Men keep comin’ at me, and I keep killin’ them. There’s blood everywhere…”
Olivia listened with rapt attention as he went on describing the horrible scenes of death and destruction he was forced to relive each night, and she understood why he cried out in his sleep.
“Och, Edan, I cannae imagine how horrible it is for ye to go through all of that night after night,” she told him, taking his hands in hers and holding them, deeply moved by his suffering and wanting to comfort him.
“Sometimes, there are men I’ve fought alongside, good friends I’ve seen killed in battle. They come back in me dreams as real as anythin’, and I’m tryin’ to save them from bein’ killed again. But however hard I try, I always fail. I’m powerless to protect them, and I end up havin’ to watch them die all over again.”
Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of the horrors he had been bearing alone. She squeezed his hands. “Maybe this is what happens when ye’ve spent too much of yer life on the battlefield,” she told him. “Ye told me ye went to war when ye were young, and ye’ve spent many years fightin’. Ye’ve seen too much killin’. ’Tis nay wonder it has invaded even yer dreams.”
He nodded. “Aye, and I’m nae the only one. ’Tis quite common in warriors to have such nightmares. A lot of me men have similar ones. But they’re so real, Olivia. Sometimes, I feel like I’m dreamin’ when I’m awake. Somethin’ will set me off, and I’ll see me friends dyin’ in front of me eyes.”
She let go of one of his hands, and with the other, she reached up and stroked his face, her heart aching for him. “Och, Edan, I wish ye’d told me all of this before. I would have understood things better then.”
Compelled by overwhelming feelings of tenderness, she moved closer, put her arms around him, and kissed him softly on the lips.
“Ye dinnae have to be alone with yer nightmares now,” she told him in a whisper, looking deeply into his eyes. “Because I’m goin’ to stay here with ye all night and watch over ye while ye sleep, all right?”
“All right,” he murmured.
She cradled him in her arms until, eventually, she heard his breathing even out and knew he was asleep. Only then did she allow herself to doze off.
She woke up several times in the night, still holding him in her arms, and was both relieved and glad to find him sleeping peacefully. She hoped it was the comfort she offered that had chased the nightmares away, at least for tonight. Then, she joined him in slumber once more.
When Olivia awoke in the morning, she was disappointed to find Edan gone. Supposing he was busy, she hurriedly made her way back to her chambers, her head full of all he had shared with her the night before. The tenderness she felt for him had not abated, and she hoped they had reached a better understanding, that his coldness towards her would now be a thing of the past. So, she felt quite buoyant and optimistic about the day ahead.
The first thing she did when she got to her rooms was to check on Eileen. She smiled to see her sister still fast asleep. The journey to Aberfeld Castle was so long, so Olivia figured that Eileen should sleep as long as she needed and tiptoed back to her room, closing the connecting door as quietly as she could.
Megan had not yet arrived to help her and Eileen prepare for the day, so she spent some time rummaging through her wardrobe and picking out a demure gown to wear for church and the religious part of the festival, and another more daring, opulent one to wear for the big party to be held in the evening. She was just hanging them up on the wardrobe door when Megan came bustling in with a large jug of hot water and some clean towels.
“Good mornin’, Me Lady,” Megan greeted cheerfully, going to deposit her burden on the washstand before she came and looked at her mistress with a critical eye. “Aye, ye had a good night’s sleep, I can tell. Ye look bonny. Nay more dreams to tell me about?” she asked hopefully.
Olivia smiled. “Nay, I havenae had the dream about the white hart again since… well, since Edan came home, now that I think about it.”
That struck her as quite an odd coincidence, and she wondered for the first time if the “great changes” Megan had assured her the white hart symbolized had to do with Edan’s return. It was certainly a romantic notion, and she found she rather liked it, even though she did not believe it for a minute.
“We have a busy day ahead, Me Lady. There are still plenty of things that need to be done for the feast. Will ye and Lady Eileen be joinin’ us in the solar today to work on the decorations, or will ye take her out around the castle and show her some of the sights?”
“I thought we could do a little of both. But first of all, we shall have breakfast together. Have ye seen Edan?” Olivia asked. “He left before I woke up this morning.”
A sly look flashed in Megan’s eyes. “Och, so ye spent the night together, eh?”
Olivia blushed. “Well, aye, we did, but we only talked and then slept. Nothing else happened if that’s what ye’re askin’.”
“So, ye still havenae had yer weddin’ night?”
“Nay. I told ye, we have to finish our five dates first.”
“What five dates?” Eileen asked, stretching and yawning as she came in through the connecting door.
“Never mind about that now. I’ll tell ye later,” Olivia said and looked pointedly at Megan. “Have ye seen Edan?” she asked again.
“Aye, he was havin’ breakfast with Zander in the Great Hall when I left earlier,” the maid informed her, going to the wardrobe to fetch her clean linen for the day. “Will either of ye bewantin’ a bath? Because if ye do, I’ll go and order the hot water to be brought up now.”
“Och, I’d love a bath. Thank ye, Megan,” Eileen said. “I’m still stiff from the journey.”
