I slumped against his body, chest rising up and down with heavy pants.
“Was it good?” he asked.
“Yes,” I breathed. “Are we going to fuck now?” There was uncertainty in my voice. I’d come here to get rid of my virginity, but that orgasm had taken a lot from me. Suddenly, all I wanted was to sleep.
“One thing at a time,” he said and kissed the back of my neck. “Tonight’s session was about getting you used to fingers inside of you.”
“What will happen next time?”
“Next time, I’ll put my cock inside you,” he whispered into my ear. He lifted me off his lap and we looked at each other. I suddenly realized I must’ve looked red and sweaty. Ryan, on the other hand, looked totally composed. Except for his dark, hazy eyes. “Will you be okay getting home?”
I nodded, standing up. My legs felt slightly unsteady. “Thank you for tonight.”
He stood up too, and I tried not to stare at the bulge in his pants. “I was gentle enough, right? I didn’t hurt you?”
“You didn’t hurt me,” I assured him.
He helped me gather my things, handing me my underwear, and walked me to the door. “Next time,” he said, “we should probably actually study as well. I’m supposed to help you with math, not just sex. You have an exam to sit.”
“Don’t remind me,” I said. “I’ll bring my textbook next time. Though I’m not sure how I’m supposed to focus on algebra.”
“I’ll think of something.” He gave me a smile. I don’t think I’d ever seen him smile before, and this wasn’t a normal smile. It was almost wicked. “Goodnight Tessa.”
CHAPTER FOUR
I didn’t see Ryan for the next few days, since both of our schedules were busy. I did, however, masturbate every night, remembering the feel of his fingers on me. Sometimes I wished I hadn’t been on his lap — that I could have see his face, so I had the memory of it.
While touching myself, I pushed a finger inside of me. I wasn’t so scared anymore — not when I remembered how good it had felt when Ryan did it. But it was hard to find my g spot. I tried to curl my fingers, but it didn’t work. I think the angle was wrong, or maybe my arms just weren’t long enough.
I even went online and searched for a g spot toy and had just been about to buy it…but then I stopped myself at the last minute. Because, well…there wasn’t any point buying one, was there? At least, not at the moment. Not when I had Ryan to help out.
So I’d closed the tab, telling myself I’d buy one when Ryan and I finished…whatever this was.
My redemption exam was in a less than a week. That would be the end. I wouldn’t have any reason to see him after that.
“What’s wrong, T?”
I blinked a few times, ripped out of my thoughts. I was in the library with Willow, and I’d spent the past few minutes staring blankly at an article discussing the significance of the Silk Road.
“Huh?” I said, turning to Willow.
Her brow was creased with concern. “Is something wrong? You look sad.”
“I’m not sad,” I replied automatically. It was the truth. I’d been thinking about Ryan and the fact we’d have to part ways at some point, but that didn’t make me sad, not at all. It just made me…a little disappointed, if I was telling the truth.
Which was stupid. I barely knew him, and he was a dick.
Though he hadn’t been a dick Tuesday night. No, he’d been sweet and careful, with me on his lap —
Stop thinking about it, Tessa.
“Okay,” Willow replied, looking skeptical.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to respond to that, because a group of boys walked past, talking way too loudly for a library. We looked up and…ugh. It was Tim, Willow’s ex.
“Hey,” Tim said to her.
Willow’s lips turned up in a small smile. “Hi,” she replied.
