I’m dreaming of being anywhere but here when my eyes catch on Julia leaving Dick Wad’s trailer.
Her expression gives nothing away, but there’s a tense set to her shoulders that makes me want to head her off and ask what the fuck he said to her.
She walks over to a cameraman just beyond Teri and begins speaking to him in hushed tones.
“Emmett?” Teri says, drawing my attention back to her. “Did you hear my question?”
I blink, trying to recall if I somehow heard the question when Julia Silva’s body language had me totally fixated. “I’m sorry. Long night. I must have zoned out there for a second.”
Teri smiles, pencil propped behind her ear, hair up in a messy bun. “Same. The start of a season always feels like this until we all get our bearings. Once it starts rolling, it won’t seem like so much work. I promise.”
I smile back at her and brush it off. “No problem. Can you ask me the question again?”
She nods, glancing down at the clipboard in her hands. “Is there anyone here tonight that you can see a future with? Or at the very least, did you have a connection with any of the daters?”
A connection? I just met these women, though that one behaved as if we were more thoroughly acquainted than we are.
Unable to help myself, I glance over toward Julia, whose forehead is rumpled with focus. It makes me wonder what just went down, even though it’s none of my business. I have my job to do here, and she has hers. Plus, she’s the last girl in the world I should fixate on.
So I swing a hand over the back of the bench and look as casual and confident as I can before making direct eye contact with the camera. I brush away my disdain for the question and answer in a way that feels on-brand for the show.
“Yeah, there are a lot of smart, beautiful women here tonight that I can definitely see a future with.” I look away from the camera with a touch of shyness. “It’s only been a day, but damnif a couple girls didn’t stand out to me in terms of connection.” I give a good-natured chuckle, even though it’s total bullshit, and I immediately want to hurl myself into the lake to cleanse myself of the stench.
The producer laughs. “It’s so exciting to experience that kind of promise after only one night.”
I’m about to respond but, like earlier, my gaze finds Julia.
Hair slicked back, head held tall. Looking at me with a bemused tilt to her lips and one quirked eyebrow. And as if she doesn’t have enough dirt on me already, she also gets a front-row seat to my humiliation and desperation.
Because, as much as I hate the way she’s looking at me like I’m some colossal joke, I care more about making sure that my family and this farm stay afloat.
Once I’m finished with my interrogation, I set my sights on getting the fuck out of here. I thank the producer for her time and move to stand as cameras, microphones, and lights get folded up around me.
The fabric of my dress shirt sticks to my back. July in the Cascade Valley is relentlessly hot and dry. Only the nighttime temperatures take a dip, and even then, it doesn’t feel like enough for what today held. I want nothing more than a cool shower and a couple of ounces of whiskey, but Julia Silva is all up in my face before I can flee.
“Emmett,” she starts, “we need to talk.”
My shoulders rise and fall on a heavy sigh, and I groan, sounding more irritated with her than I am. She eyes me carefully before reaching into her small crossbody bag.
It’s the same one from the cruise. For a moment, I’m transported by the gold chain over her shoulder, the small purple pouch at her hip. I remember laying her down on my bed in a panic. She was heavy, lifeless, but when I held my hand under her nose, I could feel her breathing. When I liftedher arms to peel the strap off, they were dead weight, and my stomach turned over.
A million times I wondered what I should do. Respect her wishes? Or call for medical help anyway? I promised myself if things got bad, I would call the doctor, or at least notify someone on the ship. But after she’d been sick, her breathing and awareness seemed to improve.
I’d left her side only to hang this exact purse on the hook by the door before sitting at the foot of the bed, keeping a respectful distance from her and checking her breathing obsessively. I’d only left to sleep on the balcony when I was sure she’d been sleeping normally. It had takenhours.
But today she pulls her hand out of that purple leather pouch, and she’s holding a pack of gum. She pops out a little white square, lays it in her palm, and extends it in my direction.
I try to lighten the mood by saying, “What’s this for? A peace offering?”
She snorts an unladylike laugh. “No, it’s to wash down the taste of shit in your mouth after giving that interview.”
I bark out a laugh and roll my eyes as I swipe the gum from her palm.
“Walk with me,” she says, leading me away from the hustle and bustle of the set and crew wrapping up for the night.
“Richard and one of the producers wanted me to talk to you about some off-site locations in the valley where you’d like to do one-on-one dates. He’s thinking places where you’re comfortable. Ones that have some sentimental value. You know, spots where you could take the girls and share a little about yourself.”
I chuckle under my breath as my boots crunch on the gravel road. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but opening up isn’t exactly my forte.” I peek over my shoulder and give Julia anunimpressed look. “I highly doubt I’m going to start on a first date with any of these girls.”
