Jake pulled Claire aside after the show and asked her to meet him in the back lounge once everyone went to sleep that night. She agreed, and he could barely sit still, waiting for the time to tick by. Everyone sat in the back lounge playing video games as they usually did to unwind. Claire now played games with them, and everyone took turns. It was fun having someone new on the bus to hang out with. Not that they didn’t all know Claire, but she hadn’t been around in a while and it changed the dynamic.
One-by-one the group dropped off like flies. Before Theo crawled into his bunk, he gave Jake a meaningful look. Within minutes, snores came from Ben’s bunk, so Jake crawled out of his bed and moved to the lounge. Claire followed behind a few minutes later. She shut the door softly and turned around to face him.
She wore baggy light pink sweatpants and an oversized gray sweatshirt. He smiled at her and waited for her to take a seat. She hesitantly looked between the couches, and he secretly hoped she’d sit next to him, but she didn’t. She chose the couch next to his where Ben usually sat.
Claire flinched as she pulled her legs up onto the couch with her, attempting to get comfortable.
“Can I get you anything to make you more comfortable?”
She glanced at him and blushed. “Oh no. I’m good. Sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for.”
Her eyes flicked to his before shifting away. “I just didn’t mean for you to see that.”
“I know. But there’s still no reason for you to apologize.”
She held his gaze for a moment before shifting away. “Okay.”
Jake studied her. The way her fingers clenched in her lap. The way she occasionally smoothed her hand over her stomach. He took a deep breath and let it out.
“I want to start by saying you were never a distraction. Things were so busy while we were on tour, and it got out of hand. If I could do it over, I would spend every free second with you, letting you know how much I loved our time together, so you wouldn’t have a doubt in your mind about our relationship.”
She nodded. “Thank you for saying that.”
Jake stood up and took the few steps over to her couch, and sat down beside her. She looked up at him, nervously fidgeting with her fingers again.
“I know you’re fresh out of a very difficult relationship and you’re navigating it, but if there’s any chance for us to try again, I would like to. It doesn’t need to be now or even a year from now. Whenever you’re ready. I just want another chance.”
She remained silent for several beats, and Jake’s heart climbed into his throat.
“I don’t think that will work.”
He knew there was a chance she would reject him, but he didn’t realize how painful it would be. A hot knife seared through his chest.
“Okay. I understand.”
Before he could move to his own couch, her hands took his. They were small and petite and fit perfectly inside his, just as he remembered. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles and looked into her eyes.
She looked to be in agony.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Her eyes flicked to the door leading to the bunks.
“They’re asleep,” Jake said. “Between the door being closed, us talking softly, and Ben’s snoring, they can’t hear us.”
She chuckled. “It’s not that I don’t want to try with you. My brain is a mess trying to sort everything out. I was in a horribly abusive relationship. I know a lot of it was my fault and?—”
“None of it was your fault,” Jake said a little too forcefully.
Claire flinched. Her eyes flickered to his and then away again.
His heart thumped as the adrenaline rushed through him. He wanted to beat that asshole to a pulp for making her believe anything was her fault. Despicable scum.
“I’m sorry,” Jake whispered. “I really hate that guy. It’s hard to be neutral about it.”
She nodded as if she understood, despite him knowing she didn’t. She believed too much of the lies that prick put into her head.
