Today, the room is still and silent—not a single sound to hide my uneven breathing or the heavy falls of Grafton’s shoes as he slowly approaches me. He stops several feet away, but I can feel his eyes on me, and my heart flutters against my ribs like a wild thing.
“It’s different like this,” I murmur, voice quiet in the cavernous room, memories from that nightflickering through my mind. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a party with Christopher, but he had insisted, telling me it would look strange if he turned up without his wife. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when he’d disappeared almost as soon as we arrived, leaving me to spend most of the evening by myself.
The Christmas tree, although in the corner, had stood tall over everyone, each branch perfectly fluffed and arranged. It had been professionally decorated in a theme of gold and silver, strands of twinkling white lights wrapped around the trunk. A sparkling silver star held the place of honor at the top of the tree, and I’d spent more time staring at it than anything else, wishing I were at home with my own tree, which Mase and Ginny had very enthusiastically decorated—before I’d gone back and fixed it to be more symmetrical later that night.
I would take flawed over perfect any day. And standing in that ballroom, staring up at the immaculate tree, an insidious voice had started whispering in my ear, telling me that my life was just as empty as the glass baubles hanging from the branches.
I might have denied it, but even then, I knew. My life might have glittered from the outside, sparkling in the shining lights…but there was a rotting emptiness within, and hidden cracks had started to show.
I let myself be charmed by Christopher’s empty shell, twisted with his promises of love. He never knew what that meant, and every promise always fell flat. For the longest time, I convinced myself that I was doing the right thing, playing into my roles as a mother and a wife, sacrificing my happiness for the future of our family.
But what kind of future would it have been? I didn’twant Mase and Ginny growing up, learning that relationships were transactional and meaningless.
The last time I set foot into this ballroom, I was finally learning just how much I could take before I broke. It was only months later that everything changed.
I hear his footsteps, and then Grafton is wrapping his arms around me, drawing me back against his hard chest. His chin rests on the crown of my head, each exhale of air brushing against my hair.
My throat feels clogged with emotion as I point a shaky hand at one corner. “The tree was over there,” I say waveringly.
Grafton’s hand smooths down my arm, soothing me. “That’s right. And that’s where you were the moment I first saw you.” He pauses, his fingers tightening briefly before continuing on their path. “The moment I saw you and knew you were mine.”
My vision goes watery, my breath hitching in my chest. “How did you know?” I choke out. “How could you have been so sure?”
He chuckles, his chest vibrating against my back. “I don’t know,” he admits quietly. “But I knew it to my bones.”
I sniff delicately, rubbing the back of my hand across my nose, checking that I’m not leaking anywhere but my eyes.
“Sometimes.” I breathe, knowing he deserves every ounce of my honesty. “Sometimes, I think I’m too broken to do this all over again. I know you’re not him,” I rush to add. “I know this is different. It feels different, and it’s only been…months.” A crazed little laugh escapes. Grafton doesn’t interrupt, like he knows I need to get it all out. “And I’m terrified. Because what I felt for him?” Ispin in his arms, glistening eyes locking with his bright blue ones. “It doesn’t even come close to touching what I feel for you.”
Grafton lifts a hand, grazing the backs of his knuckles over my cheek, his smile soft with understanding. “I don’t want to erase your past or your pain, Lynley. That experience, as much as I wish you didn’t have to go through it, has made you stronger.” His thumb trails over my bottom lip, tugging at it playfully. “And the strength? It means you don’t actually need me. I might have helped untangle you from your marriage, but you did the hard work, darling. I was just there to hand you the match.”
“Grafton,” I whisper.
“I have no expectations. I brought you here to remind you that this isn’t some impulsive move for me. And now that you’ve finally confessed your undying love—” He flicks up a brow when I can’t help but laugh.
“Now, I never said undying,” I protest, unable to stop the stupid smile pulling at my lips. “You’re quite a lot older than me, so I need to keep my options open.”
Grafton narrows his eyes, his lip curling into a playful snarl, but all it does is make me laugh harder.
“What I was trying to say,” he says, “is that this place we’re in right now? You, me, Mase, and Ginny? It’s everything. There’s no pressure here, no expectations. I don’t want you to worry about what the future might bring, because now that we’ve reached this point?” He leans down, pressing his forehead to mine. “We’re good, Lynley.”
My lips are still tipped in a smile, but the tears run unchecked down my cheeks. For the first time, I think I actually believe. “We are, aren’t we?”
He makes a husky sound of amusement. “Yeah, we are.” Grafton watches me for a beat, adoration making his eyes seem even brighter than usual. “Don’t think for a secondthat the minute you’re ready, we aren’t getting married right here.” My heart skips a beat, seeing the utter sincerity in his voice, but he’s quick to say, “Don’t worry. I’m not proposing yet.”
My chest loosens a fraction—enough that I can lift trembling fingers to brush my tears away. “You never know,” I tell him primly. “Maybe I’ll be the one to propose to you.”
He leans back, eyes flaring with surprise as he searches my face to see if I’m joking. “Absolutely not,” he warns in a low growl. “That is not happening.”
Well, doesn’t that sound like a challenge?I smile. It doesn’t reassure him, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “I guess we’ll see, won’t we, honey?”
Before he can answer, I step away, spinning in a circle as I take in the ballroom one last time.
“The place where it all began,” I murmur. “The moment I finally started living.”
Grafton’s hand curls around my neck, dragging me back to him and planting a deep, oxygen-stealing kiss on my mouth. “The moment we both started living,” he corrects. “Now, let’s go home.”
Epilogue
