Ironically enough, we’re near the gas station-diner combo where we pulled over two nights ago when my phone starts vibrating like crazy. I’m on my bike and Esme is following in her car. I take the exit and pull into the parking lot. I kill the bike and get my helmet off. Esme sits with her car idling, windows up, the AC probably pumping. It’s overcast, without the sun beating down brutally, but it’s humid. Even riding my bike with the wind flowing all around me, I’m soaked under my leather jacket.
Esme rolls her window down when I approach.
“Crow called me a couple times. I’m gonna phone him back, see what he wanted.”
“Sure. Yeah. That’s fine.”
Her voice is strained. It’s been awkward, even after we talked. I’m glad that we did, but the elephant in the room is still very muchin the room. I made sure Esme rested, and I caught an hour nap. We did our best to avoid each other. It wasn’t that hard, given that since we were taking off for a couple of days, I needed to ensure that the security was covered. I needed to gather up all the shit I wanted to replace at the cabin, get groceries and supplies, and pack.
Esme and I have been dancing around without speaking more than a few words to each other all day.
“If you want, you could go in and get drinks or order something. I might be a minute.”
We had a sandwich earlier, but it was already a couple hours ago, and we’re approaching six. Past dinner.
“I’m fine. We have a whole trunk full of food.”
Everything is in Esme’s car. Coolers. Groceries. Tech. Our bags. I wanted to make sure that I was absolutely prepared for the trip. I did what I always do and took care of every little detail.
“I’m fine, Wizard. It’sfine.”
I hate that word, but Esme flashes me a smile and rolls up her window before all the cool air escapes.
I stalk around the parking lot, walking to the edge of the crumbling pavement where there’s a bit of privacy, and pull out my phone. Four missed calls. Whatever Crow wants, he probably doesn’t care about the delay, but if it’s Raven—that’s the other, less socially acceptable personality that resides in his head—I get on the other end, I can already hear the snark.
“Hey,” I say when Crow answers. “You called?”
“I know we were supposed to be on our way tonight, but Tarynn had a work emergency come up.”
“She cuts hair?” I try not to sound like an asshole.
“Yes, and hair is important. She doesn’t just do cuts. She does color and fancy styling.”
“Right. Yes. Sorry.”
“There’s a woman getting married tomorrow. She went to someone else for a color, but they fried half her hairoff. There’s no way she’s going back to that place, and no one else can get her in before her wedding. Tarynn’s gonna fix the color. She’s putting extensions in tonight and doing a bridal style tomorrow morning. Anyway, this woman was so thrilled she’s invited us to her wedding, and you know Tarynn can never say no. So, we’re not gonna make it out until Monday night, likely.”
Fuck.I might have wanted to take Esme away somewhere private so we could work out what we need to, but I don’t know if she was sold on this thinking that she wouldn’t have to be alone with me the whole time. Given how awkward we’ve been with each other all day, I don’t know if she’ll be thrilled.
There’s still enough time to turn around.
“Wizard?”
Double fuck.I recognize that change in tone. I love Raven, I really do, but I haven’t had enough sleep and I’m too exhausted in every other way to try to carry on a conversation with Crow’s other personality. Not that I’d ever use that term. Raven would be so offended, and god help you. Raven’s lovely. Until he’s an asshole. When he’s an asshole, he’s very, very good at it.
“Yes, Raven?”
“I think that you seriously need to use this time to go for it. Stop pining. Stop wasting your life. Stop thinking you’re not good enough for her. Just give it a shot. The shot to end all shots. Shoot your shot, or shoot your shot, but either way, shoot your shot. All the time we’ve known you, you’ve been single. You were clearly waiting for the one, and she’s it. We all know it.”
“You’ve never seen us together,” I sigh. I’m already trying to figure out who I have to kill for opening their mouth. Dravin immediately comes to mind. “You don’t know the half of it.”
“No, but I know you had a best friend, and I know she was dating your brother. We got that much out of you over the years. I know how hard you work, and sometimes, when you’re throwing yourself into that, it’s half love and half avoidance. I know that when we sat in on Church, even though it was a fucking crisis, you looked more alive than you have in forever. And she must have been around at Christmas, because I doubt it was your parents’ cooking that always made you look so lit up and so half miserable at the same time. Also, you told Crow a little about why you wanted to go up there, and you want to bring her, so it’s pretty obvious.”
“Raven,” I sigh, but that’s all he lets me get out before he cuts me off with the rest of his unsolicited advice.
“You should warn her that if she hurts you in any way, there’s gonna be hell to pay.”
“I regret asking if we could come out with you and telling you why I wanted to.” I didn’t tell Croweverything, but I told him enough, apparently. “Also, nothing is her fault.”
