He runs his thumb over my jaw, tracing a line that somehow goes straight down to my heart. His frown lines seep away, and his new calm soothes me. Our gazes lock. His eyes are blown out, but so soft and kind. I could fall into them, and I do. We stand there, just breathing together for a good while before Wizard passes my helmet into my hands. They’re still shaking, so he takes it from me and gently fits it into place. He’s so careful with the chin strap, making sure it’s not too tight.
He gets on the bike first, kicks it to life, then makes sure I’m in place and holding onto him tightly before he rolls away. He seems extra careful as he rides back to the clubhouse. At some points, it feels like we’re barely even moving. It’s calming, being on the bike with him, hands clasped around his waist, my head fitted over his shoulder, our bodies pressed together, my heart slamming into his back.
***
By the time we arrive at the clubhouse, I’m not nearly settled, but I feel like I’m not pale anymore either. My pulse has toned it down. When I take off my helmet, I feel like my face isn’t all terror and shock, rage and despair.
Wizard parks the bike in the compound and helps me off. He searches my face immediately. My gut instinct is to tell him a really corny joke just to see relief filter into his beautiful green eyes, or to maybe hear him snort out a tiny laugh. My mind is stubbornly blank until I think about Reg.
“Why can’t you ever get angry with a yam?”
“Because they’re the sweetest potatoes,” Wizard finishes dryly. It’s worth it when his lips twitch and then wobble into a full smile. “One of Grandpa’s many gardening jokes.”
I’d planned to do this when we were back, and now doesn’t seem like the right time, but it also seems like the best time. Maybe even theonlytime.
“Can we go to your room? I have something I want to give you.”
Wizard runs his hand down my arm, nuzzles my ear and neck, then kisses my temple. “Sure.”
We walk hand in hand down the long back hallway. I know that Wizard will always treasure our time, and that what happened at his parents’ house won’t ruin this for him. He won’t let James steal a single ounce of our joy. Coming back here doesn’t just feel safe.
It feels likehome.
He lets us into his room. After we shed our backpacks and unzip our jackets, I go straight to my suitcase in the far corner, unzip it, and take out the albums. I have my back to Wizard, but he blows out air through his teeth when he sees them and collapses onto the foot of the bed. After everything, it’s the albums that make his legs go weak.
“You got them from my parents?”
“I did. I wanted to give them to you in Seattle and look through them together, but I didn’t want to chance anything happening to them. It’s hard to fit them into a backpack, and anyone could steal a backpack. They were safer here. I was going to show you tonight, when we got back.”
Wizard clasps his palms together and bows over them. He says something I can’t hear, then lifts his head and looks at me with his eyes wide and luminous.Thisman. I know what I’m looking at. He’s my forever. The rest of my life and whatever comes after. He was a beautiful soul back when we first met. He’s beautiful now. He’ll always be beautiful, far, far into the future. I’m excited about growing together. Growing wiser, growing wrinkled, growing into our memories and our years. Growing old.
He pats the spot on the bed next to him. I sink down so close that our thighs and shoulders touch. Picking the first album off the pile, I spread it out over his knees. There are photos in these albums of Reg from the time he was born all the way up until the last year of his life.
“Thank you.” Wizard turns his face and captures my lips. He kisses me hard, desperate, but it turns into hopeful and sweet as I cup the side of his face.
“You’re welcome,” I breathe against his lips, but really, those two whispered words are a thousandthank yousof my own.
Chapter 27
Wizard
One Month Later
Three weekends. That’s what this is now, which still feels a little bit unreal every time I think about it. Before Esme came back to Hart, I didn’t take weekends off, or even nights. There was always something that needed doing, something that could go wrong if I wasn’t paying attention.
And seeing as I didn’t have much of a life then it wasn’t like I was making a sacrifice. Now I’m riding out to the cabin again with her arms wrapped around me, her helmet pressed between my shoulders, and instead of feeling like I’m leaving something behind, it feels like I’m finally going somewhere I’m supposed to be.
Okay, I’m also upgrading the security system while we’re out here, but that’s not the sole reason for the trip. But I might have hinted that it was so I could persuade Esme to come and keep me company.
The road narrows as we turn off toward the woods, the pavement giving way to gravel. I ease off the throttle, not because I have to, but because I don’t want to rush this part. The trees close in on either side, tall and thick, branches cutting the late afternoon light into strips that flicker over the ground. Esme shifts behind me, leaning with me like she trusts me to keep us safe.
That still hits me every time.
Trust.
After years of riding solo, to feel responsible for another life and to have someone who trusts me implicitly is… I don’t know… I can’t even begin to explain it.
We pull up in front of the cabin and I cut the engine. The quiet settles in fast, thick and familiar. We’re miles from anywhere here, away from the city, away from the clubhouse. Just the wind in the trees, birdsong, and the faint ticking of the bike cooling down.
