“Yeah, there’s been quite enough changes lately.”
“Oh?” Reagan’s eyebrow raised.
Sienna popped the cucumber back on her eyelid to avoid her inquisitive stare.
“Changes, like feelings have changed?” Reagan asked.
More like Sienna had arrived with an apartment and now she had none. She was still too embarrassed to tell anyone that she was officially homeless, though she’d have to tell her mother soon enough if she hoped to live with her until she figured things out.
But Reagan wasn’t entirely off base when she assumed Sienna was talking about feelings. Sienna’s emotions had been all over the place since she met Fox, and while he hadn’t come out and said it, she knew he felt something too. Though after how she’d left things last night, those feelings weren’t the warm and gooey kind anymore.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sienna mumbled.
“You’ve totally flipped since our first day. You were all gung-ho, this is about my career, and now you’re hiding from the perfect opportunity to get on camera? What on earth has happened in the past four days?”
Sienna felt the trickle of a tear beneath her sheet mask and pulled it off, along with the cucumbers. She ran to the bathroom to throw it all in the trash then grabbed the tissue box on the back of the toilet. In the mirror she caught sight of the goopy mess of her face and the tears started to pour out of her.
Reagan was beside her in an instant. “Oh, sweetie, what’s the matter? Is this all because of what happened yesterday?”
“Wh-which part of yesterday?” Sienna blubbered. The energy drained from her completely, and she sat down on the floor of the bathroom. “The part where I accidentally betrayed Fox, or the part where I yelled at him on purpose for trying to help me? Maybe it was the part where Bruce is mad at me for not getting good footage with Fox?”
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that,” said Reagan, and she put her arms around Sienna’s trembling shoulders. “Bruce seems to have gotten the message we’re not his typical group of attention-crazy celebrity wannabes.”
Sienna choked out a laugh. “Except that’s exactly what I am.”
“Not from what I’ve seen. You may have one of the best fake smiles I’ve ever seen, and you were a little over the top that first day, but you’re trying to do what’s best for Audrey and Eli, and I think everyone can see that.”
Sienna sniffed. “Thank you.”
“And as for the Fox problem, he got a break last night. I’m sure he’s in a better mood today. It can all get sorted out. You just need to talk to him.”
If Sienna talked to Fox, she would have to explain what was going on. Her heart rate quickened. “I can’t.”
“Of course you can. We all lose our cool from time to time.”
Sienna shook her head. “No, it’s not that. He can’t know why I was hiding in the safe room in the first place.”
“And why were you in the safe room?” Reagan asked, her brow furrowed.
Sienna blew her nose in a raspberry so loud that she was sure the cameras downstairs would be able to hear, but she didn't care about stuff like that right now, not when she had so many other things to worry about. “I’ve been trying so hard to make it work in New York, but I just can’t afford it anymore. My roommate found someone else to take my room. When I go back after this, it’s to get my stuff, and that’s it for me. My dream of being an actor is officially over.”
The relief of finally saying it out loud to someone was like breaking a faucet, and it all gushed out of her. Reagan held her while she cried in long, racking sobs for what felt like hours.
When the tears had slowed to a steady trickle, Sienna looked up at Reagan. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I wanted you all to think I had it figured out.”
Reagan crinkled her forehead. “Why on earth would you want that?”
“Because you all have it together. I’ve always been the kid sister that everyone takes care of. Even you; it’s like I had three older sisters. I want to be a grown woman who can take care of herself, just like you all can. I don’t want any of you to worry about me.”
“You think we all have it figured out?” Reagan started to laugh, softly at first, then louder.
It’s notthatfunny,Sienna thought. But then again, Sienna had never heard Reagan laugh this hard, so there had to be something she was missing. That, or Reagan had finally cracked.
“We have no clue what we’re doing,” she said through lingering chuckles. “We’re all figuring this adulting thing out as we go.”
“But if I can’t do it on my own, if I’m not perfect then—” Sienna stopped and bit her lip. She’d already told Reagan about her apartment, but this was something else.
“Then what? The world will end?” Reagan stopped laughing and gave Sienna a small, sad smile. “That kind of pressure comes from crazy pageant moms like mine, not like nice, normal ladies like Emily Hudson.”
