“I…I do not understand.” Her bafflement spoke volumes about his past errors. “I heard you are betrothed to an heiress, while I have nothing. I cannot leave Neddy, not even for you. Your wife must be one who meets very different expectations.”
“I am not betrothed, I promise. It is merely a wish of my aunt’s that she has repeated to anyone who will listen, for the last several years, no matter how often I refute it. You have a remarkable wealth of kindness, loyalty, beauty, compassion, and intelligence. You have exceeded my every expectation and I am entranced by you. I would consider it an honour of the highest order to help you raise Edward; I will petition Chancery for guardianship, and for a change in trustees. We will hold his estate for him until such time as he can manage it himself, and ensure Philips cannot waste any more of it.”
Her enchanting eyes were filled with bewilderment. “I do not know if…I am not quite sure he will ever be able to manage it by himself.”
“What guarantees do any of us have for the future? Our hopes for our children centre in their happiness and satisfaction and resilience. We can try and teach it, but how often are we able to ensure they learn those lessons? I predict that Edward can and will experience all of life’s goodness. Hewillfulfil the measure of his creation, if we have anything to do with it.”
She stared at him, her lips slightly parted; he hardly dared to breathe, awaiting her answer.
And then she launched herself at him and at last, at last, she was in his arms and his mouth was upon hers and he tasted her for the first time. It was everything he had only allowed in his dreams, but better. She was far more passionate than hehad dared to hope; she was everything to him, alive and sparkling, and he wanted her more than life itself.
“Is this real?” he implored, spreading kisses across her lips and jaw. “I am afraid I will wake to find you gone with the night.”
“If it is not real, I beg you do not awaken me,” she whispered. He kissed her again so that she would know he was here and that he meant to stay with her for always.
Thirty-Four
SHARED CONVERSATION
Elizabeth marvelled—there was no other word for it—that Darcy had come to her, that he felt what she felt, that he expressed his love so freely.
“I am in a state of disbelief, I think,” he said. “I cannot believe you have forgiven my…my neglect, the distance I have put between us. If I had only followed my heart, we would already be married.”
She reached up to stroke his cheek. “Had you proposed so quickly, I would have been in a quandary. Neddy’s needs have come first with me for so very long, and I did notknowyou.” She told him about hiding in the shrubberies that evening after the assembly while he searched for her. “I would not ever deny noticing your attractions immediately. However, in the time since, I have seen how wonderfully you have treated Neddy—developing plans for his improvement and nurture, even when you were decided against me. Further, I have seen how well you care for your sister, how patient and loving and protective you are. It did not make it easy, sir, to force myheart away from yearning for you.” It was easy to speak honestly to him, as if they had known and loved each other for years, instead of mere weeks.
Especially since he rewarded her honesty with an affection at which he was exceptionally proficient.
They were seated together before her hearth, his arms around her, sharing those kisses and conversation in equal measure when she realised with a start that it had been at least an hour since Georgiana had left with Neddy; they would doubtless be back at any time.
“I believe Georgiana will be returning with my brother soon,” she said, smiling up at him. “I do not think I would wish to be caught misbehaving before my soon-to-be-sister.”
“It is at times such as this that my reputation as a bastion of correct behaviour will prove useful,” he said, grinning back. “No one of any experience could see your face and not know you wear the look of a well-loved woman.”
She could not find it in her heart to be mortified, not even when she caught sight of herself in the reflection of her looking glass as she went to fetch her cape, her lips bee-stung and eyes dreamy, her hair wild. Together, they walked outside to await Georgiana’s arrival.
“How do you think she will feel about gaining a sister…and a little brother, who is occasionally, ahem, disruptive?”
“She already loves you like a sister—I was foolish not to see immediately how good you are for her. Her affection for Edward is a fierce one.” He hesitated. “Actually, I believe she feels a connexion to him in a special way. She has had difficulties of which I was ignorant; in childhood, her nurses were cruel in the kindest way imaginable—believing she was stupid and nearly convincing her of it as well. Assisting Edward has helped her confidence in ways I do not quite understand.”
Elizabeth frowned. “I cannot imagine anyone believing her stupid. She is one of the cleverest girls I have ever met! She thinks in ways that are uncommon to most, and can see solutions that I never would have. I think it is part of her creative talents.”
He kissed her then, fully, as if he could not help himself. She certainly did not mind! But it was more than his affection that was tantalising; he was also deeply interested in every aspect of her thoughts, her past, her feelings. They talked as if they could not talk enough, could not learn enough of each other. It was not until they had been outside for what could have been another hour, and her feet were beginning to feel like two blocks of ice, that she began to be uneasy.
“I think they ought to have returned by now,” she said. “They have never ridden for so long before.”
He pulled out his watch, looked at the time—and appeared surprised. “I did not realise so much of the day had passed. On our last ride, I believe Edward began to be restless after an hour or so. I have been here at least two hours; how long before I arrived did Georgiana leave?”
“At least half an hour,” she replied, genuinely worried now.
“Do you know where she planned to ride?”
“Up Oakham Mount.”
“I will go there, at once; I will find them.” He gave her one last swift kiss, and strode quickly to where Gallant was tethered out of sight of the house. She watched a few minutes longer, before returning inside, wondering how worried she ought to be. Surely Georgiana was already heading back to Fox Hollow? Frightening possibilities filled her mind. Had Neddy grown restless? Had she set him down, thinking that he would stay beside her, only for him to run away? Heavens, hewas faster than one might expect any three-year-old to be. The number of cautions and warnings she ought to have given began filling Elizabeth’s mind.
She had been standing by the hearth, worrying for a few minutes, when Mrs Finch poked her head out.
“Is it safe to come out?” she asked, with a little smile.
