“And if they’re there?”
“Then you’ll look them in the eye, like the terrifying queen you are, and let themseeyou. All of you. The messy parts too. Because you’re allowed to want to be loved and looked at, Elle. You’re not a monster for wanting that.”
I didn’t speak, but I nodded.
Maddie slipped her arm through mine. “And if you start spiralling again, I’ll remind you how stupid hot you are.”
I snorted. “God’s help me.”
“Too late. You picked me.”
We headed out to the gardens, where the servants had set up food beneath a wide pergola draped in wisteria. The flower beds were wild with late bloom—soft purples and deep reds curling underfoot, humming with bees and distant birdsong.
The garden had become my favourite place in Shadowmere. It wasn’t grand like the ballroom or sacred like the cliffs. It was something else—alive. Chaotic, fragrant, sun-dappled and untamed. The wind carried the scent of lavender and honeysuckle, warm and sweet. The light filtered through the canopy in golden patches, like the world was trying to paint me in something softer.
I liked it here. Maybe because nothing asked anything of me.
I stepped off the path and sank into the grass, still dewy in places, and let the peace settle. Maddie flopped down beside me without grace, her dress tangling around her knees. She didn’t care. That was the best thing about her.
“See?” she said, stretching out with a pleased sigh. “Food and flowers. What more do you need?”
“I don’t know,” I murmured. “Maybe nothing.”
Not for the first time, I let myself breathe in the stillness. No guards. No weapons. No war. Just… this.
And then—I heard footsteps.
“Speaking of orbits,” Maddie muttered under her breath, “asteroid incoming, ten o’clock.”
I glanced up.
Caelen was making his way down the garden path—steady, composed, and very much out of place among the wisteria and roses. His shirt was rolled to the elbows, a navy sash tucked into his belt, like even now, he couldn’t quite turn the prince off.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, pausing a few feet away. “But… could I have a word, Elira?”
I blinked, lowering my fork. The sun was warm on my shoulders, the food half-forgotten in my lap. Maddie lay beside me, picking at a daisy chain she’d been threading together.
She tensed beside me, her fingers stilling.
I exchanged a glance with her, then slowly stood, brushing crumbs from the soft purple tunic I wore. The fabric clung to the breeze but not my skin. I didn’t hate it. A small win.
“Uh, sure,” I said, not quite hiding the caution in my voice.
Maddie jumped up quickly, touching my arm like she needed the contact. “I’m going to go check in with Lacey,” she said, too casually—but the smile she gave me was real.
A warning and encouragement, wrapped in one.
I watched her disappear through the hedgerow, then turned back to Caelen. The garden felt quieter without her.
He gestured toward the far path. “Would you walk with me?”
I hesitated—then nodded.
“No Shades today?” Caelen asked, looking around.
I forced a smile and shook my head. “No Shades today. Slade’s with the army, Leo’s training the recruits, and Phoenix is off charming the council. Or trying to.”
Caelen glanced around. “Not like them to leave you unaccompanied.”
