“Do you want to know what it’s like to get so sick on the streets I nearly died in an alley? To claw for scraps in fighting pits just to stay alive? Do you really want those details?”
I met his eyes, cold and steady. “Do you want to know how many times I was beaten? How many times I wastouchedwhen I said no? How often I didn’t evengetto say no?”
Behind me, Slade didn’t move. But I knew he heard every word.
Caelen went pale. “Ellie—”
“That’s why it won’t work,” I said, voice breaking. “Why itcan’tever work.”
A single tear slipped down my cheek. I didn’t wipe it away.
“Because the girl you need?” I whispered. “She doesn’t exist anymore.”
I drew a breath that rattled in my chest. “She died on the streets. She died in Varrowmere.”
I went to walk away, but Caelen stopped me.
“You think that scares me away, but it doesn’t.” he said finally.
“It should.”
“Then maybe I’m an idiot, because I still see something beautiful in you.”
“That’s the problem, Caelen.”
I looked at him—really looked at him.
“You still see beauty. You don’t see me.”
And then I walked away.
Chapter 19
Elira
Slade was pacing.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
His movements were sharp—erratic, tense. He knocked into a table, cursed, then grabbed a vase and hurled it across the room.
It shattered against the stone floor, pieces skittering like teeth. His face was pale, carved in shadow—but his eyes were blazing.
I didn’t move. I just sat on the bed and waited.
“This isn’t your fault, grumpy bear.” I said quietly, “my life is what it is.”
A shrug would’ve hurt less than admitting how tired I was, but I said it anyway.
He didn’t look at me right away.
“It’s not fair,” he muttered. “None of it.”
I gave a tired half-smile. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
He crossed the room slowly and crouched in front of me, forearms resting on his knees.
His eyes searched my face like he was still trying to find bruises he couldn’t see.
