He laughed—a sharp, bitter sound that had no joy in it.
“Why?You’re actually asking mewhy?”
He stopped. He turned toward me—eyes red-rimmed, chest heaving.
“Because I’ve been holding myself together with string and silence formonths, Elle. Because I don’t know what to say to you without it meaningtoo much or not enough.Because every time I look at you, I feel like I’mburning alive.”
My breath caught.
He kept going, voice breaking around the edges.
“And then he walks in like it’s a game—like heknowsyou. Like hedeservesyou. And I—”
“I love you.”
I took a step back.
He flinched like I’d hit him.
“Exactly,” he said, bitter and broken. “I fucking love you. I crave you likeair.”
His voice was shaking now.
“I stay up at night—not thinking about war or strategy or any of the shit I’m supposed to be good at. I stay up thinking aboutyou.”
He stepped forward, barely a breath between us now.
“I see you with Leo. With Slade. EvenCaelen.And I try to be fine. I try to be calm. But gods—Elle, all I want to do is be near you.”
He shook his head.
“And I know I’m not what you want. I know I’m too quiet, too careful, too fuckingguarded. But I see you. And it’skillingme.”
The last word cracked in his throat.
He turned away—like he couldn’t bear to see my face.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know I shouldn't have said it. Just—forget it. I’ll forget it too.”
“Forget it? Are you kidding me?”
His eyes widened as he met mine.
“You think you can just say that, and not hear what I want to say?”
“I know you don’t feel that way about me – “
“You knownothing, Phoenix,” I snapped, stepping closer.
His breath caught, but he didn’t move.
“You want to know why I come to you when I’m scared? When I need answers? When I wantrest?”
“Because I’m yourfriend—” he rolled his eyes
“No!”
My voice cracked—too loud, too raw.
