CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Calista
Time blended into a cacophony of mind-bending eroticism after Astaroth tied me to his magic. It forced itself inside me, splitting my heart wide open and revealing my inner most truths. I fought the invasion as it tasted each and every one.
Stretching the tiny cavern of my chest, it circled like a caged animal trying to find comfort amid the debris it created before coming to rest. Then it tugged all my fragmented pieces back into place. The magic flowed through the cracks, stitching me back together like a patchwork quilt it would use to keep cozy, and became one with me. Only I wasn’t whole. I was more.
I could feel Astaroth in every one of my cells. Every move he made, I felt. Each thought that flitted through his mind was my own. Every breath I took sustained us both. And the emotions… they were intense and overwhelming.
When we gave into our primal urges, I could focus on the physical. Sex came naturally to me. I was used to feeding that side of myself without emotions being involved. But when he moved inside me, his emotions were amplified and at times confused me because I couldn’t tell where I ended and he began.
I understood his immense joy. He was finally getting what he wanted from me. What I didn’t understand was the depth of his love and devotion. How could someone feel like that when they barely knew the other person? Must be a fae thing.
Subconsciously, I stroked the pendant and nicked my finger on a sharp edge. I lifted the cracked stone that seemed void of energy and wondered if I needed it any longer. For now, it would remain around my neck. I would have to remember not to play with it or I’d have cuts on all my fingertips. Carefully, I wrapped my hand around it and waited for the soothing heat and pulse to come. A slow thrum began, so faint I almost didn’t detect it, but not from the stone.
My hand shot to my chest as I gasped. The pulse beat in an off tempo from my heart, making it feel as though my heart was racing, which triggered my anxiety and sped it up faster. The magic kept pace, my breaths growing frantic until I thought I would hyperventilate. Then suddenly, they aligned and beat as one. I sucked air in through my nose and held it, willing myself to calm before blowing it out. Over and over, I did this until my heart settled, but the magic remained, present and strong with every beat.
Surprised by my excitement, I looked around the room to see if things appeared different. A frown pulled at my lips when everything seemed the same. Having magic in your blood didn’t make for a magical viewing experience. How disappointing.
A tittering in my chest made me pause. It fluttered with a slight tickle. Was the magic laughing at me? Or was it Astaroth? Irolled my eyes and turned my head, as if that could bar him from seeing or feeling me.
The sky was a lighter lavender today, brighter than any day I’d had here in the labyrinth. Something unfurled inside me, coaxing me outside. Hesitantly, I climbed off the bed. The cold stone seeped into the soles of my feet and up my bare legs. Grabbing Astaroth’s shirt from the floor, I pulled it over my head. His scent wrapped around me as the hem came to rest on my knees, and the sleeves covered my hands. I pulled them up my arms and wrapped the loose fabric around me like a robe as I went to the arch that led to the balcony. The pull got stronger when I stopped at the entrance. I tested it, taking one step at a time and pausing. Impatience rolled through me. I smirked and finished walking to the railing. The labyrinth spread out before me. For all the fear it instilled in me, it truly was a beautiful sight to behold. I leaned on the balustrade, awestruck, and took it all in.
I would wake up to this every morning. Forever.
Guilt soured my stomach. I made this choice without consulting Kaiden and Gina. How would they feel when I admitted what I’d done? How would my choice affect their lives until I could return home to them?
Something tickled my hand, and I jerked back. One of the vines slithered up the railing and lovingly brushed the back of my hand. I flipped my palm up, and it rested inside it before coiling around my wrist. The smile that played at the edges of my lips faltered.
On the flip side, would the realm be affected by my absence when I left?
Better yet, how would Astaroth feel?
Grief and heartbreak tore through our connection. It took my breath away and blurred my vision. I clutched the railing as my knees buckled from the onslaught of torment.
Head sagging, I squeezed my watery eyes shut and tried to figure out how to turn it off. When it finally dulled to a throbbing pain, I opened them.
Astaroth stood in the courtyard below me. His rigid stance and bleak expression was easy to make out. A gentle wave of sadness washed over me. I couldn’t tell if it was mine for making him hurt, or his from the thought of losing me. Guilt reared its ugly head again. I did this to him. And it would only feel worse when I abandoned him, like everyone else in his life did. Even if I could go home, I would never be free of this place or Astaroth, and it would continue to rule my life. He would be a ceaseless churning in the back of mind.
He ruined you for all others.
That he did. He ruined what came before this place. My inability to connect with others out of fear was his fault. It was something I both yearned for and denied myself. I finally had what I always desired from the one being who took it from me.
And you will never have a connection of this magnitude with anyone else. Not even Kaiden.
Tears welled in my eyes as a shadow spun beside Astaroth. I desperately wanted his comfort, but there was too much resentment and second-guessing burning inside me. I shook my head, and the shadow dissipated. The warmth of his love ebbed from below as I released the railing and retreated into our room.
Astaroth
I emerged from the portal into the throne room, thankful no one was there. It was dark and depressing and matched how I felt. With a flick of my wrist, the candles blazed along the wall behind my throne. They reflected softly on the polished marble floors, casting a sinister glow that wrapped around my throne and barely reached the edge of the dais.
Sinking onto the wooden chair, I let the shadows envelop me as Calista’s emotional state flooded through me. We were wide open, pouring into one another. I soaked up her pain, grief, and despair, and refilled her with love, understanding, and contentment. The more I gave, the angrier she became. When I pulled back, she cried for comfort.
I wanted to go to her, but we both needed time away from one another after I kept her sequestered to our room the past couple of days. She needed to acclimate to the bond. Once she was able to process, it would be easier to teach her about it.
Boots clomping down the hall made me drop my head back and sigh. I extinguished the candles and sat quietly in the dark. A shadow formed in the fraction of the light spilling into the room.
“I know you’re in here,” Jessandra huffed. “I can smell the candle smoke.”
