I glanced over my shoulder, but all I saw was a shadowy blur. When I turned back around, he was in front of me, the skull on his face spotted with blood and remnants of sinew. I stumbled back, and he followed. The shadows made the black of his eyesappear darker, deeper even, like they weren’t even in there. They held mine while I eased across the room and kept the same pace, but his rigid stance waited to pounce.
“What’s happening right now?” I asked, still unable to feel him through our newly established connection. “Why can’t I feel you?”
Astaroth blurred out of view and wrapped his arms around me from behind. His voice ached as he spoke. “You didn’t want to feel me.” His hands roamed over my breasts and down my stomach cupping me between my legs. “But, fuck, I want to feel you.”
He trapped me against him, kissing the side of my face. Heat swirled in my stomach and spread through me as he ripped open our connection. Insufferable longing made my knees buckle. He pawed at me like he was trying to burrow beneath my skin to join the magic that flowed between us.
Most little girls dream of the prince they will fall head over heels in love with and whisk them off to a castle to live happily ever after. Even I wanted that once. Now I had a king willing to kill for me, who watches me from afar like he wants to eat me alive but touches me with reverence like I will break and wants nothing more than for me to want him in return.
“This is too much, Astaroth.”
“Let me in, Cali.” The desperation in his voice shook the walls around my heart. “Let me consume you the way you consume me.”
His emotions surged through our connection ready for war. They brought my own to heel as they swept through and filled me up. The passion that fueled them ignited a bonfire inside me. It threatened to snuff any part that didn’t have his name stamped on it. They circled like hawks, and each made an attempt to infiltrate the barrier I constructed to protect the most vulnerable part of myself. But when his love, devotion, andadmiration didn’t convince me to drop them, anger stepped up for the challenge. It tried to force my walls down by any means necessary, soothing every attack with love. Fearful, I hid behind those walls and hoped they would hold until he gave up.
I forced my voice to come out strong to get his attention and maybe talk some sense into him. “Astaroth.”
“Calista.”
He nipped my neck a little too hard for the state I was in. All I could picture were the fangs on that skull sinking into my throat before he ripped my heart out and devoured it.
“You’re drunk.”
His tongue flicked the edge of my jaw before nipping at my ear. “Drunk on you.”
“And covered in blood.”
“From hunting your next meal.”
Astaroth gripped my chin and turned my mouth to his. I nearly gagged when bloody tissue grazed my cheek. It was the strangest mixture of disgust and lust that churned my stomach.
My face scrunched as he pressed his lips to mine, and I jerked away. “Please stop.”
His arms loosened, and I escaped his embrace, but I could still feel him all over me as if his hands still roamed my body.
“I want you.”
“Not like this.” I held up my hand to keep him from getting closer.
“Exactly like this.” His chest met my palm, and he stopped. “This is who I am.”
Was it? I’d seen so many sides of Astaroth I wasn’t sure who he was. He was a multifaceted being that confused the shit out of me.
“No.”
He closed the connection between us, but not before his rejection seeped through. It settled inside the empty cavern heleft behind when he shut me out. I would take his anger any day over that. At least I could use that emotion to fuel my own. This gnawed at the loneliness I shoved deep inside because I didn’t want to feel it. The two made perfect bedfellows.
“Good night, Calista.” Astaroth leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, then he was gone.
I dropped my arm and noticed the smeared handprints on my clothes, like he sliced himself open and bled his emotions all over me. I covered the one on my chest, his fingers stretching out longer than mine. The fabric rubbed the scar I got as a child. Beneath it, my heart thudded sadly for Astaroth and all I couldn’t give him.
