“Yes, you are. My heart is your net,” he said. “You defend.”
“Oh my god, stop,” I groaned.
He laughed and swung me off the counter, carrying me into the bedroom where he dropped me on the bed and pressed his massive body over mine.
“I will never stop. Not when it make you laugh just like this.”
I grinned for him, wide and unrestrained, exactly the way he liked, and he kissed me absolutely fucking breathless for it.
And hell, I think I lied before. Because that was the best kiss of my life.
I’d been to exactly zero NHL retirement ceremonies, but I knew about them. It was all a lot of music and lights, and the crowd was there because it’s usually before a game—or after, depending on when in the season they happen.
There were tears, and they would raise their jersey to the ceiling for the world to see.
It was not the same for us. What would be the point for a bunch of blind men who couldn’t see it hanging there? I knew it took the league a while to figure out what would be the best way for us to be honored, so we had a corridor, with braille tags and tactile photos. And I would be there soon.
I walked out onto the ice, my hand holding Vanya’s arm, my feet following along the carpet rolled out so I didn’t fall on my ass. It was surreal and uncomfortable. I was never a fan of people watching me, especially when I wasn’t going to be in the crease with my mask on, my focus on stopping the puck.
“You okay?” Vanya whispered halfway through the speech Ben was giving.
I nodded. It was emotional, but not in the way most people were thinking. I kept that to myself, of course. I couldn’t help but wonder if things might have gone differently had Hunter not decided to target me.
Would I have played longer?
Would it have taken me years more to figure out that this was what I needed?
Would I still have Vanya?
I hated thanking that fucking fuck for anything, but I couldn’t quiet the little voice inside my head that said all the bullshit that went on had been for a reason. I’d still have my condo, and Vanya would have his brownstone.
Maybe we would have fallen in love, but I didn’t know if I would have been brave enough to take the leap and move in with him. I didn’t know if I would have rolled over with an ass full of come, lips swollen with his kisses, skin painted red by his painfully tender hand, and asked him to marry me.
And if I had done all of that, would I have meant it with the ferocity I meant it today?
My hand slid down his arm and found his fingers, squeezing tightly. Luckily, I wasn’t expected to give any speeches. I just had to wave and thank everyone and hug Ben, which was very easy to do.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered fiercely against my ear as he pulled me close. “It shouldn’t have happened this way.”
I pulled back a couple of inches. “What do you mean?”
“I should have done more. I should have tried harder to find that fucking guy before he—” His voice died in his throat. “I’m just sorry. Losing you is the worst, Micah.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I reminded him. “And this wasn’t about him. Or you. You didn’t fail at anything.” I took a breath, then said, “I’m happy. Like…actually happy, and I can’t remember the first time I could say that and mean it.”
He was silent for a long time, and then he slowly let me go. “I know you are. Promise me we’re still friends.”
“I’m like a barnacle on a whale’s ass, bud,” I said with a grin. “You pull me off and I’ll just reattach.”
“You’re so fucking weird,” he said, and I could tell he was smiling. “I’m happy for you.”
I heard the honesty in his voice, and when Vanya took my hand again to lead me to the line of my team—no, my former teammates—I finally felt like maybe I was going to lose it.
The Fury won that night. We didn’t stay for the game though, and I knew they’d understand. The people who weren’t dicks had my number, and the people who were didn’t care that I walked away early.
Vanya said he had a big surprise for me, which I knew was a party with everyone we loved. TheGlaciers’ season opener wasn’t for another two weeks—the gap created so our playoffs didn’t run over each other—which meant I had him all to myself for a short while.
Well, mostly.
