There was very little Peter left, and what was there was a man from the past who didn’t have a collection of sons he resented. He was a young man trying to impress a snobby woman who was playing hard to get.
I didn’t know that guy. The man who’d set his eyes on me was already disillusioned by the first child his wife had birthed him and was now confronted by having a second in the span of ten months who was exactly the same.
Except I was weaker. I was frail. Allergic to anesthesia, so I couldn’t even get the cute little implants Jonah had that would make him look more socially acceptable. I was the kid who would make everyone ask questions.
And I think he hated me a little more for that.
I couldn’t remember the last time Peter and I had talked that hadn’t involved my mom calling me over to throw a fit about something. And thank god I’d cut her off years ago.
Taking a breath, I found the curb with my cane and called Jonah to let him know I was there.
“Where are you at right now?”
“Out front,” I told him. “By some…” I stretched my cane out until it hit something solid, and when myhand drifted down, I felt soft flower petals teasing my skin. “Planters or something?”
“Hugo will be right there.”
I hung up, lost in the gut punch of relief. I loved all of our friends and their partners, but Hugo was different. Hugo was kind to me in a way I hadn’t expected him to be. Everyone had been making so much noise about him being a dickhead, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, that I thought I was going to detest him.
But he turned out to be one of the few people who saw me. Actually me. He was the one who hadn’t made assumptions about who I was or what I’d done in the past.
He’d put his arms around me, and it was the first time someone had touched me without wanting something from the interaction.
“Micah.”
The sound of his voice was instantly relaxing, and I turned, holding out a hand. He yanked me into a hug, arms tight around my back as he squeezed.
“It’s been forever.” His accent was a little heavier since he’d been visiting some of his family for the last couple of months of summer, now that he was retired from coaching. “You look tired.”
“You and I both know that’s a polite way of saying I look like shit,” I said.
He laughed and let me take his arm. I tucked my cane into my side as he led the way into the building, and I shivered when the doors whooshed open, blasting me with a face full of AC.
“Did you drive Jonah here?” I asked. Off in the distance, I could hear an elevator ding, and the tip of my cane slid easily over the polished floor, catching every so often on shallow lines of grout.
“Boden did. I decided to tag along. We can give you a ride home if you like.”
“I’m in the literal opposite direction,” I reminded him as we came to a stop. I heard the tiny click when he pressed the elevator button, and it dinged right away.
“I don’t mind. Maybe we can get dinner. It really has been a long time.”
“Yeah. France had to be nicer than here.”
He snorted. “Nothing is nicer than being with the family I found.”
Sweet words, and most days, I believed them, but I was struggling today. I managed a smile in his direction though, and he turned his hand, squeezing my arm.
“Something’s wrong.”
Fuck, he was too good at that. “It’s nothing.”
“And now you’re lying to me.” The doors opened, and he stopped a few feet from where we got off. “Micah…”
“I promise it’s not a big deal. I just have a lot of shit happening, and now with my dad getting worse and everything, and the season already a shit-show, I don’t think I have it in me to talk about it.”
He gave me a sympathetic hum as he turned us and began walking down the hall. A pungent scent of old people and anesthetic hung in the air. It stung mynostrils and made me want to stick my head out of a window. I never really considered what would happen to my parents as they aged, but I never pictured this. I never pictured my mom packing up and fleeing the country, leaving Jonah to clean up her mess.
And I still felt a little bit like an asshole for allowing him to shoulder it all. But the feeling wasn’t intense enough for me to offer to do more.
