“Did it help?” His tone was a little less aggressive now.
I couldn’t stop a laugh. “No. Even thousands of miles away, she’s still fucking with me.” I rubbed my hand down my face. “I don’t regret going, but it felt pointless, and it just ended up pissing Jonah off more than if I hadn’t come at all.” I paused, then added, “If there had been a time Dad could have told us he regretted the way he handled things, we’re well past that now.”
“I hate this. I…fuck.” The bench creaked as he sat down. “I hate that we have to live with this feeling, you know? This anger? I have nowhere to fucking put it.”
“Is that what happened when you and?—”
“No,” he interrupted roughly, like he was afraid to hear her name. “I don’t want to talk about her, okay? It is what it is, and that was a long time coming.”
“I’m sorry.”
He laughed, and the sound was bitter. “I figured you’d be happy to invite me to your slut club.”
I sucked in a breath with my wince.
“Sorry,” Caleb said after a beat. He didn’t sound it though. “Anyway, if we could not talk about any of that…”
“Yeah, fine, whatever.”
“So is that what you came here for?” he asked after a minute. “To tell me to be nicer to you about Dad?”
“I…” The answer should have been yes, but I knew it was a lie. I came here for one reason only, and he’d walked away. “Is teaching Vanya hard?”
“Uh,” Caleb said, clearly confused by my question. “I guess? I mean, it’s not harder than anyone else though. He’s kind of a hyper golden retriever, but he listens well, and he’s only burned himself a few times. And, well, there was the incident with the engraver, but he learned his lesson pretty quick.”
I don’t know why that made me feel a type of way. I couldn’t even name the emotion. “Well, if you want me to talk to him about leaving you alone?—”
“No. I like his company. He’s nice and kind of hot. It feels good to be flirted with after everything, you know?”
Rage rushed through me. I had no business feeling it. But dear god, it almost consumed me.
“So, are you two, like…becoming athing?”
Caleb let out a laugh. “I wouldn’t say no if he wanted to, but I don’t think he’s that interested. I think he flirts with anything that speaks.”
My swallow caught in my throat. It was true. I mean, I’d been subjected to it firsthand, so I knew how Vanya was with people. And, of course, I was the pathetic jackass who thought I was special.
He probably fucked me because he felt sorry for me.
“Alright, well, I’m gonna take off.”
“Gee, so soon?” Caleb asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Sorry to interrupt your peace.” He didn’t try to stop me, which told me I had one more relationship to repair with one more brother as soon as I was able.
But right now, I needed to get the fuck out of there before I exploded. I had no idea where Vanya was, but I wished I could have fucking Daredevil powers so I could toss my cane into the bushes and run like hell so he couldn’t catch me.
Instead, I did a very swift walk into the house, knocked my hip against the kitchen table, which was sure to leave a bruise, took a wrong turn at the living room, and ended up barreling into Vanya, who was just coming out of the bathroom.
He let out a quiet oomph, which was barely audible over the running toilet, and when he caught me with his massive grasp so I didn’t hit the ground, I got a strong whiff of Caleb’s orange-scented hand scrub.
“I expected sighted people to actually watch where they’re going,” I snarled.
He pulled his hands away. “Door was closed. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I’m not fucking hurt.” I spun and went back the way I came, and when Vanya’s steps echoed mine, I froze. “Don’t follow me.”
“I…Micah,” he said. He sounded helpless and unsure. “Is only way to walk.”
