“Okay, then I take you to friend. Or your brother’s, or…”
“No.” Because no. I didn’t want any of that either. If I did that, I’d have to tell them what was going on. And if I told them what was going on, I’d have to tell them how long it had been going on for. They wouldn’t judge me, of course. They wouldn’t punish me.
But they’d be upset that I’d kept it to myself for so long, and I really wasn’t sure I could take the guilt of hiding. It was bad enough my brothers knew I was keeping shit to myself.
And Jonah was still pissed at me for the way I’d walked out of Dad’s room. I didn’t think he’d beready to forgive me just yet, even if he knew what I was dealing with. And I couldn’t shoulder both burdens right now.
“I’ll be fine,” I eventually choked out.
When I tried to pull my hand away, Vanya clung tighter. “I have very nice house, you know. Not too big, but very comfortable. You can stay. The stalker, he doesn’t know where I live.”
That…was true. “I don’t want to impose?—”
“No, no. Come on. We can have sleepover. Ford tell me all about them. Snacks, movies, telling secrets.”
I burst into laughter in spite of myself. “No blanket forts?”
He sighed. “Not having enough sheets or chairs. But I will. For next time.”
Next time? My stomach did something funny, but I quickly ignored it.
I wanted to say no to him. I was desperate to say no, walk into my place, curl up in my bed, and forget everything about tonight. Only that wasn’t going to happen. Even if Vanya left me here, I’d be on edge, listening for every creaking sound.
“Micah,” he said when I met him with silence, “I promise I will be good. Hands to myself. No kissing. Just comfort.”
And suddenly, I hated how much Ididn’twant to say no. And I hated that I already knew what answer I was going to give him.
“Fine. But I need clothes.”
“Yes, okay. We can get. And if any stalkers in your house, I will fight them.”
I couldn’t help a small grin. “You’re gonna go fisticuffs on some stalkers?”
“I…don’t know that word,” Vanya said. He sounded slightly distressed. “It means beat them up, yes?”
I fought back a giggle. “Yeah, Vanny. It means exactly that.”
When my feet hit the pavement, I no longer felt like I was being chased by shadows. Vanya stayed close at my side as I made my way into the lobby and down the hall toward my condo. It was a smaller place than the one Jonah and I had been sharing, but I liked it better. It was downstairs on the ground level, which meant no one struggled to come to my front door, and it was quiet.
My neighbors neither knew nor cared who I was and weren’t interested in getting to know me. Just the way I liked it. My cane tapped along the wall as I headed toward my door, and I took a deep breath, testing the knob because I’d watched too many movies about stalkers who broke into houses and left the door handles loose, and the jackass main character didn’t notice right before getting, you know, murdered.
Everything was exactly as it was supposed to be. The lock clicked, and the door opened, and my place was absolutely silent except for the quiet bubbling of my little fish tank.
“You have lights?” Vanya asked.
I waved my hand at him. “Switch is on the wall somewhere.” Normally, I’d feel bad and hurry to make the space comfortable for my sighted guests, but my stomach was in knots. I didn’t think anyone was here, but the fear of not knowing was a little too much.
The idea that Hunter could be sitting in my living room, measuring small, silent breaths so I wouldn’t know he was there…I fucking hated that. I wouldn’t know what to do with sight if some god granted me the ability, but what I would give for the privilege of being able to know exactly what was in the room with me without having to hunt for it right now.
Yeah. I’d sell a sibling.
Or a parent.
Or both.
There was a soft click, and then Vanya said, “Oh, is very nice place. Aww, little fish!” He lumbered across the room and pulled a stool away from the breakfast bar with an obnoxious squeak on the wood floors. “Is girl fish or boy fish?”
“Uhh, boy,” I said. “The boy fish have the big tails.” I had no idea what my fish actually looked like. I told the guy at the aquarium store to pick out the prettiest one he had. It could be some mud-colored goblin for all I knew.
