I didn’t want to think too hard. I just wanted this. I rocked down against him as he fucked me into pure oblivion, and I was almost unaware of anything except the ecstasy of it all as I started to come.
The heat rose in me again, but this time, it didn’t stop. This time, he took my dick and began to stroke me hard and fast, yanking my climax from my body like it was his to take.
I came hard, my cry nothing more than a raspy, aching sob. I felt myself spilling over his hand as he continued to jerk me off, and then I felt him thicken inside of me. And somewhere between ragged breaths, I felt him let go.
He stuttered up inside me sharply, one, two, threehard thrusts before he cried out and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I was unaware of anything after that. For a moment, it felt like I was falling, and then his warm hands were there, easing me down to a pillow that smelled like him.
His body curled around me, and then he began to rock me gently. “Shh. Is okay. You are safe,” he was whispering.
It took me another moment to understand why. To realize that I was quietly sobbing into the sheets. The moment I became aware of it, I cried harder, my chest tight, stomach aching as I let go.
It was freeing and painful all at the same time. Humiliation teased at my edges because why the fuck did I have to fall apart like this? It was just sex.
It was just fucking.
Only I knew that wasn’t true. It was so much more. I had given him power and control over me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it back.
I believed him that I was safe. That he would take care of me. That I had nothing to worry about. But how long would that last? How long until he was just like the others, using what I’d given away to try and ruin me?
The thoughts were quieted by a soft kiss as Vanya began to paint soothing lines over my body, and in spite of myself and the fear now replacing the pleasure, I felt myself drifting into a quiet void of nothingness.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MICAH
I was a horrible person.A horrible, terrible, monstrous person. That was my mantra as I sped up my pace on the elliptical.
I had every intention of talking to Vanya about what happened once I woke up, but he was snoring away when I rose to consciousness, and somehow, I managed to sneak out of the bed, find something to wear, grab my phone and cane, and make it out the front door without him noticing.
I knew I probably looked fucked out and wrecked beyond reason, but the driver who eventually showed up to pick me up was kind enough not to say anything.
I was still too terrified to go home. The thought that Hunter might be waiting for me made me want to piss my pants, so I had the driver take me to the practice arena so I could shower there and hopefully get a few decent warm-ups done before anyone noticed I was walking funny.
Which I wasn’t. Mostly. I was no stranger to things up my ass. I loved a fat dildo more than I loved rubbing one out. But Vanya really had wrecked me in the best way.
He’d made me wait for it all night, until the release had unlocked something in me that I couldn’t take back. I’d literally cried myself to sleep in his arms.
And then I’d run away like a coward. No text, no call, no nothing. I’d been at the arena for hours now, so there was not a chance in hell he wasn’t awake by now.
And probably hating my guts. If there had been any chance of anything between us, I’d definitely fucked that up.
“Yo, did you hear about Noah?” I had no idea who was speaking.
I attempted to freeze, forgetting for a quick second that I was on a goddamn elliptical, and almost lost my footing. I’d done that before. More than once. I’d probably lost more teeth to exercise equipment accidents than pucks to the face.
“What the fuck?” I turned my head and tried to figure out who’d come in. “Who the fuck is Noah?”
“Noah Brown?” Right. The Glaciers’ coach. “It’s all over hockey Threads right now. He’s supposedly taking a job with the AHL.” Ah. It was Daniel talking to me. His Quebecois accent wasn’t as strong as some of the other guys in the league since he’d been raised between New York and Quebec City growing up,which made him easy to recognize. “The new owner booted his ass.”
The new owner? I hadn’t realized the Glaciers were changing hands. Interesting. “Who bought them?”
“It’s a whole hush-hush thing,” Daniel said. “But your brother’s been all over socials, having a fucking party.”
“I don’t think that’s a bad thing,” I said as I went back to my run. “Brown’s a dickhead to Alexio, and Jonah will literally do a murder to protect his boyfriend.”
Dan snorted, and I heard him start the machine next to me. He was quiet as he began his run, and when he spoke, he sounded slightly winded. “You know he was the one who started that petition to get Ben fired?”
I winced. I knew. Of course I knew. Noah hadn’t been quiet about his opinion on blind coaches, which was fucking ridiculous, considering he had nothing to do with our league, but the worst part was the fact that he had support from other sighted coaches in the PPHL.
