“And if he releases the video he has of me?” I challenged.
He was quiet for a long time. “Can I ask…and please don’t yell…but what is worst thing to happen if he release it? He go to jail for…for. What is called…” He took a deep breath. “Revenge…”
“Porn,” I filled in, because that had been my first thought. The conversation he swore he had on video, I was naked in it. Limp dicked with tear-streaked cheeks from crying. “And yeah. But that won’t stopeveryone from seeing it. It won’t take back all the downloads and other shit.”
Vanya said nothing for a long moment. “You know where he live?”
“Yes,” I answered slowly.
“Okay, so is simple. We get a guy to get into his phone or computer and?—”
“Vanya! Jesus.” I was starting to get actually frustrated. As sweet as he was, he was also wildly unrealistic, and that wasn’t helping. “This isn’t the fucking movies. People don’t just have a guy who can hack into a computer to?—”
“I do.”
My mouth snapped shut, and I turned my face toward him. “You have a guy?”
“Well, a brother. He work in cybersecurity in Las Vegas.”
I had no idea what the fuck to say to that. “Uh…”
“He mostly work for casino, you know? But he know people. Maybe he can help, maybe not. But I can ask.”
I was afraid. No, I was terrified. This could give me hope. This could give me ideas, and when that happened, I was usually let down.
Violently.
“Can I think about it?”
Vanya took my hand, and this time, it didn’t startle me. He lifted it, then kissed the tops of my knuckles. “Whatever you need. Right now, I think bath, then sleep.”
“I don’t want a goddamn bath.”
“Yes, yes. You so stubborn, Micah. But you will say thank you, Vanya, for nice bath. Thank you for muscles not all cramped. Trust me.”
He let me go, and before I could protest, he was gone.
I considered following him, especially after I could hear the faint sound of water filling a tub, but it wasn’t worth the fight. The game and the stress had me in total knots, and it would be at least ten hours before I could see our massage guy, so maybe a bath would help.
Vanya knew what he was talking about anyway. He took the same hits I did. At least, the physical hits. And I had a feeling that somewhere beneath his sunny disposition, there was hurt too. People who lived lives untouched by pain didn’t treat me the way he treated me.
He understood what it was like, at least a little.
And in spite of not ever wanting him to feel pain, knowing I wasn’t completely alone in this did help me feel better.
It was something, at least.
And I was going to hold it close to my chest until I could breathe again on my own.
The tiles under my feet were warm as I stepped into the bathroom. The air was thick, full of a soft lavender scent, and when Vanya took my hand, his own was soft from the hot water he’d been testing.
He didn’t say anything, which I appreciated. My senses were overloaded, and my stress levels were through the roof. I wanted stillness, and I wanted quiet, and Vanya seemed determined to give that to me.
He set me on the toilet lid, then peeled away my clothes until I was shivering naked under the vent. The discomfort didn’t last long. His firm hand and sure steps led me to the tub, and as I set my feet in and felt along the perimeter, I noticed it was wide enough for at least three grown men. Maybe four, if we all got creative.
I couldn’t think of two other people I’d want to be there with though. As much as I detested admitting it to myself, Vanya was everything I had ever even considered wanting in a partner.
He was more than I hoped for and much more than I deserved.
