“I’ll stop, but everyone else…”
“I know. And I know I need to fix it. I guess I just…” I raked both hands back through my hair on a ragged sigh. “I guess I want to be able to choose when I talk to people about it. I don’t want to have to make a panic statement because that dickhead released a video about me.”
Jonah’s next breath was ragged. “Hear me out: Iknow prison sucks, but he won’t be able to release shit if we kill him.”
I couldn’t help a small laugh. “Yeah. But even leaning on the whole disabled thing, we’ll probably have to serve a long time,andwe’d definitely get kicked out of the PPHL.”
Though, now that I said that aloud, not playing hockey ever again didn’t sound like the worst idea. And that was…new. Or maybe not new, but I was definitely acknowledging it for the first time.
My stomach twisted.
“Anyway…”
“Who are you staying with?” Jonah asked. “Obviously, you’re not going back to that place. I mean, you have to fucking sell it now and move.”
I was grateful he couldn’t see the flush in my cheeks as heat crept up into my face. “Ah. Well…I mean, I’m staying here?—”
“You and I both know you’re not staying with Caleb unless you have to. He’s a fucking pain in the ass.”
He was. He’d been hospitable as much as he was willing to be, but I could tell he was ready for me to get the fuck out. And I could go back to Vanya’s, but that was another bag full of angry hornets I didn’t want to open.
He was making me feel things.
He was making me want things.
He was giving me everything I hadn’t realized I’d needed, and I was pretty sure he’d marry metomorrow if I asked him to. But I wasn’t confident I wouldn’t be complete and utter poison to him.
“Micah, if you’re sleeping on a fucking park bench,” Jonah started, dragging me out of my thought spiral.
“No. I’m figuring it out, okay?” I tried not to snap at him, but I couldn’t help it. I was anxious and tired, and there was a house full of my friends who were demanding answers. And I had to tell them something. “What should I tell the boys when we go inside?”
Jonah sighed loudly. “Nothing. Everything. It’s your choice. I’m sorry I pushed you into a corner on this, but you’re my best fucking friend and my brother, and things were supposed to get better after we talked, and they didn’t. I shouldn’t have forced your hand, but…I was scared.”
“It was a dick move, but I think I needed someone to push me.” Jonah was the only person I’d admit that to. “When you and Alexio first started your thing, I wasn’t ready to face how bad I knew my life was going to get. I think I’m ready to admit I need help.”
Which meant telling the people I loved.
Which meant coming clean with pretty much everything.
“I’ll go with you,” Jonah said quietly.
“You’re such a nosy fucking bitch,” I said as we climbed to our feet. “You just want to hear what everyone says.”
He burst into laughter and swayed into me as hiscane found the path, and I let him guide us back toward the house. “Yeah, but that’s part of my charm.”
“If that’s what you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, bud, sure. It’s all charm.”
He said nothing, but I knew he was smiling, and in spite of all the chaos, it warmed me to know that at least one of my brothers was actually happy.
The talk went as well as I expected, and better than I’d feared it would. It came with a lot of apologies for the things people had said over the years and stumbled questions about why I’d let them all believe the lies about me.
Jonah attempted to shame them for giving me shit about being slutty when slut shaming was wrong, and after what felt like some after-school PSA about verbal bullying, we moved on to the topic of Hunter and what to do next.
“Well, I have rope and an SUV,” Tucker said.
“And I’m a lawyer,” Killian added. “I can’t defend us all, but I know people.”
I held up both hands. “Boys, seriously. No. We’re not going to murder him.”
