“Please don’t regret it,” Jupiter said suddenly.
Her words caught me off guard, breaking my reverent concentration. I blinked at her.
“What I mean is… I hope you don’t come up with some bullshit reason why what we just did was a bad idea.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you some kind of mind reader?”
She rolled her eyes. “I just know that look on your face.”
I groaned, dropping my head back onto the pillow for a moment. “I don’t regret a single moment, Jupiter. Not one second. But...” I sighed, “my shield brothers are going to kick my ass when they find out.”
She shrugged one delicate shoulder, looking utterly unconcerned. “I don’t see why. I’ve already been eaten out by Jamie and kissed Phoenix.”
My eyes widened as I absorbed that nugget of information, my brain stuttering to a halt on one particular detail. “I’m sorry—Jamie? Did you say Jamie?”
“Yes.”
“But... Jamie’s a virgin. He’s had an aversion to women ever since Eliza. He barely even speaks to most of them.”
“Technically it was in a dream,” she clarified, her cheeks flushing slightly.
I shook my head, still stunned. “That’s still... For Jamie to even be comfortable touching you? It means a great deal, actually.”
Her expression grew uncertain. “Are you mad? About the others, I mean?”
“Mad?” I reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. “No, love. I’m actually relieved. It makes telling the guys what happened infinitely easier.”
She smiled then, some of the tension seeping out of her. We lay there for a while longer, talking softly about nothing important, until she yawned and admitted she needed to use the bathroom. As she slipped from the bed, I admired the graceful lines of her naked body before she disappeared through the door.
While she was gone, I pulled my pants back on, and glanced around her room. My eyes landed on her desk, where several books were stacked haphazardly. One in particular caught my attention, its spine clearly visible, bearing the title“Breaking Shield Bonds: Theory and Practice.”
Jupiter returned wearing a simple sleep shirt that fell to mid-thigh. She crawled back into bed beside me, hesitating onlybriefly before laying her head on my chest. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.
“Stay?” she murmured, already sounding half-asleep.
“As long as you want me,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Her breathing deepened and slowed, her body growing heavier against mine as sleep claimed her. I stared up at the ceiling, my mind racing. The book on her desk nagged at me, a reminder that no matter how right this felt, Jupiter still carried scars from her past that might never fully heal.
I tightened my arm around her, as if I could somehow protect her from memories and pain. Eventually, my own exhaustion won out, and I drifted off to sleep with the scent of her hair filling my senses and her warmth seeping into my bones.
16
Percy
I wokeup with my cock hard and my hand already halfway down my boxers, sweat cold on my skin. I’d been in the middle of a dream. No—dream was too gentle a word. It was a vision. Every detail had that hyperreal, sickly quality of the bond being forced on me.
I saw Jupiter, naked, sweat gleaming on her skin, her dark hair wild around her face, being fucked hard. Her hands gripped his shoulders. Her breasts bounced with every thrust. But I couldn’t see his face very well. Her eyes were closed most of the time, lips parted in a moan that started low and ended in a scream. I heard her voice through the bond, the way I used to, before the whole world got fucked.
I wanted to put my fist through a wall, but to my dismay, my hand was still wrapped around my cock. I tried to let go, I did, but the vision wouldn’t let up. Every time I blinked, I saw her again, her body arching as she came, her voice echoing in my skull. ‘Yes, harder, fuck, Theo—I want all of it.’That name slipped through, and it was a knife to the gut.
The thing was, my body didn’t care. My cock was throbbing so hard it hurt. I bit down on my own forearm to keep from moaning like an animal as I stroked myself, jerking harder with every memory that surfaced. How she tasted, how she’d look at me right before she’d say my name and come apart in my arms. It wasn’t me in the vision—maybe it would never be me again—but the part of me that ached for her didn’t give a shit. I could hear her voice and see her sweat-soaked skin and feel her body clench around?—
I came so hard I saw stars. It ripped through me like fire, and when it ended I lay there with my heart racing and every cell in my body vibrating with a twisted mix of pleasure and absolute fucking misery. My hand was sticky, my abs messier, and I felt nothing but deep, hollow emptiness.
I crawled out of bed, wiped myself off with half a box of tissues, and sat on the edge of the mattress with my head in my hands. The bond was still there. It was like a phantom limb, the ache always lurking just beneath the surface. When she’d first left, I told myself I’d get used to the pain. I’d learn to drown it, forget her. Instead, every day I missed her more. Every day the ache grew more unbearable.
I pulled on sweats and a shirt, then stormed out to the common area. The lights were dimmed, but I could see the other three already there, each in his own private ring of hell. Aiden was hunched over the kitchen counter, chain-smoking and drinking straight out of a handle of bourbon. Draco had the look of a man who hadn’t slept for a week, staring into the distance with his hands clenched so tight the veins stood out blue under his pale skin. Eris was sprawled on the couch, eyes so bloodshot he looked like he’d been maced, a half-eaten granola bar sitting on his chest.
