“Don’t you dare—” I hissed. “Don’t you ever touch me again, Aiden. I’m not yours anymore. I won’t let you manipulate me. You’re just mad because you can feel me getting fucked better than you ever could, and you’re jealous. Every time one of them makes me scream, you get to hate yourself all over again.”
It was mean and horrible of me to say, but I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, wanting to hurt him in any way I could.
When I met his eyes, I expected to see a smug grin or hear a sarcastic jab, but nothing prepared me for the sight of tears streaming down his face.
“Aiden…”
He shook his head and looked away, running his hands over his hair. He laughed, but it wasn’t funny. “I can’t fucking stop crying. I’ve never cried in my damn life and suddenly it’s all I do.”
“Aiden, you don’t get to act like I broke your heart. You don’t get to do that.”
He wiped a stream of tears from his cheek, but more fell in its place.“Trust me, I know. And it’s not just my heart. It’s fucking worse than that. It’s mysoul.” He stepped closer. “It’s like… It’s like my soul is walking around outside of my body.” He gestured to all of me. “Every time you get hurt, I feel your pain like it’s mine. Every time you’re scared, every time you’re alone, every time you pretend you’re fine when you’re not. It fucking wrecks me. It makes me feel like I’m dying and I don’t get to do a damn thing about it. AndIdid that to you.” He tapped his chest, right over his heart. “I know you don’t forgive me. I know we don’t deserve it. If I were you, I’d never forgive me. Notever. But selfishly, Istilldon’t want a world where I’m not the one making sure you’re safe. I don’t want a life where I have to wonder if you’re okay and not be allowed to ask you or see you or evenfeel you. I don’t wantanykind of existence that doesn’t have you in it. But you don’t want that world anymore, and I don’t even blame you. Even if you hate me forever, you will still be my soul, Jupiter.”
I wanted to scream. To rage and cry and scream again. I wanted to punch him in his pretty face, to kiss him, to run from him. But most of all, I wanted to turn back time and start over again.
But that wasn’t possible. Life wasn’t some fantasy novel. This wasn’t a movie. Life was heartbreak.
I turned and violently yanked the door open, light from the corridor spilling into the classroom, my eyes already stinging with tears I refused to give him.
I paused, feeling him behind me, not moving an inch, barely breathing. “You know… The worst part is that you were my soul too. But now I’m not even sure if itwaslove, or if the bond made me feel it. I’ll never know, and I’m not sure I could ever go back to that. In fact I know I can’t.”
18
Lucas
The room was surprisinglyluxurious for us being unexpected guests. There was a spacious living area with a fully stocked kitchenette, a large balcony overlooking the gardens, and a bedroom with a king-sized bed that dominated the space.
“Not bad,” Rowan said, running his hand over the polished mahogany of the dining table. “Better than I expected from these Yanks.”
I snorted, moving to check the bathroom. “At least they know how to treat their guests properly.”
The sound of running water told me Jupiter was already in the shower. I caught a glimpse of her silhouette through the frosted glass—the graceful curve of her shoulders, the arch of her spine—and quickly looked away, heat rising to my face as I shut the bathroom door all the way for her.
An hour later, we were settled in. Waverly had sent over a care package with fresh clothes, toiletries, even a bottle of decent Scotch. It was a thoughtful gesture, and I found myselfreluctantly impressed with the Director. It was clear she cared about Jupiter.
I was unpacking the package when the bathroom door opened wider. Jupiter stepped out, her dark hair wet and hanging in loose waves around her face. She wore nothing but an oversized t-shirt that fell mid-thigh.
My mouth went bone dry.
From across the room, I saw Rowan’s eyes darken as he tracked her movements, his gaze traveling up and down her body with undisguised hunger. I felt the same desire surge through me, my cock hardening painfully in my pants. Fuck, I’d wanted her since that first moment at the gala, when she’d danced in my arms and looked at me with those luminous silver eyes.
“Better?”
She nodded, running a hand through her damp hair. “Much. The hot water here is actually hot, unlike Imperium’s temperamental plumbing.”
Noodle had already found a spot by the lit hearth, curled up and apparently asleep, though with no eyelids, you couldn’t really tell.
“Right,” I said, clearing my throat. “We should figure out sleeping arrangements. You take the bed. Rowan and I will be fine on the couches.”
Jupiter rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. That bed is huge. We can all fit.” Rowan and I objected immediately, and Jupiter laughed. “Your delicate sensibilities are showing.”
Before I could protest again, Rowan crossed the space in two long strides and scooped Jupiter into his arms, tossing her playfully onto the bed. She shrieked with laughter, her hair fanning out across the pillows.
“Fine,” I conceded, trying to ignore the way my heart raced at the sight of her sprawled across the mattress. “But I’m not responsible for what happens if someone gets cold feet.”
Jupiter patted the space beside her. “Come on, boys. Let’s watch something mindless before we pass out.”
We ended up with Jupiter between us, the three of us propped against the headboard as The Vampire Diaries played on the wall-mounted TV. I tried to focus on the show, but my attention kept drifting to the warmth of Jupiter’s body beside mine, the subtle scent of her shampoo. It didn’t quite smell exactly like her. She had two scents that’d become achingly familiar over the past few weeks. Sweet pears and roses. Her shampoo right now smelled of lavender, which was delicious, but I still craved pears.
