“But you’ve known each other since you were children. Maybe you weren’t close, but you grew up together, and that counts for a lot.”
“I think I just didn’t want to admit it. Because if I say it, if I let myself… then I can lose her, Robyn. And I don’t think I’d survive that.”
“You don’t get to control love by keeping it quiet,” Robyn said gently. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“When she told Dan about my half sister, I pushed her away because I’d convinced myself she’d betrayed me and that it was proof Blue could hurt me and couldn’t be trusted.”
“That’s honest,” she said.
He laughed softly. “Yeah. Doesn’t make it better.”
“No. But it makes it fixable.”
He stared at his hands. “What if she doesn’t believe me anymore? What if I’ve already done too much damage?”
Robyn reached up and cupped his face, forcing him to look at her again.
“Blue Jay McAllister is strong. She’s stubborn. And she loves you. Dan told me that, and he’s not the most insightful of my kids. Birdie also believes you and Blue are perfect for each other.”
Hope flared inside him.
“You need to go to her,” Robyn continued. “Not with half-truths and fear. Tell her you’re scared and you don’t know how to do this, but you want to learn. Tell her you want to build a home with her and your baby.”
He nodded slowly.
“You two have months to grow into this together before the baby comes, Jay. Parenthood doesn’t arrive fully formed the day that child is born. It grows, just like they do.”
Jay’s chest felt tight, but in a different way now, with less panic and more hope.
“What if I’m not enough?” he asked quietly.
Robyn smiled through suspiciously bright eyes.
“Then you grow into enough. And if you stumble, you have us. This family doesn’t let people fall alone.”
The weight of that settled over him.Family.He’d never thought he’d have one. Not of his making.
“Blue Jay and that baby are not a test you’re destined to fail,” Robyn said. “They are a gift. One you’re more than capable of cherishing.”
“I want to be better than what I came from,” he said solemnly.
“You already are. Now drink your coffee, and I’ll take you to the game because that’s where she will be.” Finally, she started the car.
The fear was still there, but for the first time, hope was stronger.
“Thank you, Robyn. I needed this talk,” he said.
“Good.”
“And I’m going to come clean with Blue and tell her everything.”
Robyn reached over and squeezed his hand. “That’s my boy.”
And for the first time in a long while, Jay thought he just might be someone worth believing in.
Chapter 31
Color was all around Blue as she sat in the bleachers, eating M&M’s and pretending all was right in her world. A cloudless blue sky above and warmth on her skin, while around her, people talked and laughed in their superhero costumes. What more could she ask for?
