Me:Hi, Bear. Sorry. I stayed closer to campus. I have a busy day.Me:I’ll see you next Wednesday.Me:Love you. Have a good day at school.
The three dots come up before I lock the phone.
Bear:Ok.Bear:Are u back at ur house?
I lie in bed and look at the screen.
Me:I should be there tonight.
I scroll up.
Penelope texted me.
Penelope:Lunch today?Me:Yes! 1pm at the dining hall.Penelope:Okay.
I scroll through my other notifications. My gut sinks when I see that I haven’t opened any from Gianna. My heart pounds when I click on her name.
Gianna:Just tried calling to talk.Gianna:Are you okay?Gianna:Did you go to your moms?Gianna:You can come back here.Gianna:Are you really never going to talk to me again?
I read it twice.
My heart flops in my chest like a dying fish. Is she saying that I’m not kicked out anymore? I don’t want to get my hopes up. I have a long day ahead, and Benson wants me here later. I’m nervous to revolve my life around him, though. I’m already looking at the clock and counting how many hours there arebetween now and when I get to see him again. I close the texts and decide not to deal with Gianna right now.
I get out of bed and make the bed. Then I pack my things in my bags and haul them out of his room. Before I close the bedroom door behind me, I look around and smile. I really like him.
When I go downstairs, my stomach is sinking. But I’m relieved when the kitchen is empty. I let out a sigh and look at the empty house. It’s a different vibe than the parties they throw, and it’s tidy. I walk over to the coffee pot, and Benson was right, there’s enough coffee for me. I reach for cabinet but notice that there’s a clean mug in front of me. I grab that one instead and pour a small amount. I don’t need much to get me going.
My phone buzzes against the counter mid-sip.
Benson:How is the queen of Hawthorne House this morning?Benson:Practice was brutal. Couldn’t stop thinking about you in my bed all night.Me:I am drinking coffee in your kitchen.Me:Did you leave me a mug?Benson:Yes, that’s my mug.
I smile while taking another sip.
Me:Thank you for everything.Benson:Anytime. I gotta go, but I hope to see you tonight.
I look at the screen and inhale. I want to see him too.
Me:We’ll see.Benson:Say see you tonight, not whatever that means.Me:Okay.Benson:Say it.Me:Fine.Me:I’ll see you tonight.
He sends a smiley face. I finish the coffee and wash it before I leave. I put my bags in my car and drive the few minutes to campus.
Real Analysis at nine, and I’m five minutes early. I sit in my usual seat in the third row and take notes on uniform continuity. The proof of theorem 4.3 lives across most of a page in my notebook. I do desk hours at the tutoring center from eleven to one. Karen is at the front desk when I come in. She glancesup and looks at the hoodie I’m wearing. Christ, I turn hot in a flash. She doesn’t say anything. I sit at the back corner desk with the freshman appointment book. I help three students with calc problem sets and one with a discrete math proof. The proof is the one I worked through with the same student two Wednesdays ago.
At twelve thirty-two, Karen drifts past my desk on her way to the printer. “Hi, Lucy. How are you?”
“Hi. I’m good. You?”
She smiles. “Good. How is the Reeve sessions going?”
I nod. “Good.”
“He called to switch tutors. Is there something going on that I should know about?”
I shake my head. “I live with his sister. That’s all.”
“Okay, so it’s sorted out? I asked around and a senior might be able to take him.”
“Oh,” I say. “Yeah, we figured it out. Math first.”
