Eliza tried to keep her voice as neutral as possible.
“Well, you smile a lot more now and you make jokes and laugh with her. You didn’t do that with our other nannies. I asked Rowyn why and she said it’s ’cause the other nannies weren’t as funny as her, which is true. She says if I have questions about you I should talk to you, though, ’cause the only person who can tell you how someone feels is the person feelin’ it. She says that a lot, especially when I tell Elliot he’s being grumpy.”
Amelia was far more observant than she gave her credit for,and it filled her with both pride and fear.
“Rowyn is funny, I’ll give her that. But I’m here more because I want to spend time with you and Elliot. You’re very important to me and I love you both, and I’m sorry if I don’t make that clearer to you.”
Amelia rolled her eyes and hopped down off the table.
“I know you love us, Mom, you say it like a billion times.”
Eliza laughed and kissed Amelia’s forehead as she turned.
“But youdolike Rowyn. Me and Elliot like her too.”
Amelia shot the last sentence over her shoulder as she skipped out of the room. Eliza stared after her until Rowyn walked into the kitchen.
“That picnic is not gonna pack itself, need some help?”
Eliza glanced down at the snacks still piled on the table and then back up at Rowyn.
“What’s wrong?” Rowyn asked as she placed a hand on Eliza’s shoulder.
Eliza looked at the door nervously and moved from the touch as she began placing items into the cooler bag.
“Amelia was asking me if I’m here more because I like you. It sounds like you two had a conversation about it already.”
Eliza did her best to keep her voice nonchalant as she focused on the task at hand.
“Sort of, yes. She asked why you smiled and laughed with me a lot and not with the other nannies, so I played it off expertly by saying I’m funnier. Which is totally not a lie. I told her to speak to you, though, which I figured you’d want. Did she say something different?”
Eliza zipped up the bag and glanced at the clock to ensure they were still on schedule for the day’s activities. She was taking the kids to a science day at the park in the city. It was Rowyn’s day off, so Eliza was doing it by herself.
“No, she said the same. I’m stressed about the day, I think.There will be crowds and lots happening, and I’ve avoided these situations without realizing why. Now that I know more about what makes these situations more difficult, I’m not sure it makes it any less likely to go terribly.”
The answer wasn’t a total lie. Eliza was concerned. A crowded park with many screaming kids and lots of music and activities was her idea of hell. The kids wanted to go, and it was Rowyn’s day off, so Eliza had agreed to take them against her better judgement.
“I can cancel my plans and come with you if you want. You can handle it, but it might be no harm to have even numbers.”
The kids had asked if Rowyn could come already, but Eliza had insisted they spend the day with only the three of them. It had been easy to fall into the routine of always having Rowyn around, even when she was off the clock, but Eliza had to maintain some boundaries.
“No, it’s okay. I need to figure out ways to manage these situations safely alone. I can’t rely on you being here all the time, and neither can the kids.”
Rowyn stilled. Eliza finally looked up as Rowyn nodded, but her face gave off the vibe that Eliza had said the wrong thing.
“I just mean, you’re their nanny and you have days off and they need to understand that. It’s important to have that separation, and for me to be able to parent without someone picking up the slack,” Eliza said.
“It’s fine, I know what you meant. I better go get ready. Enjoy the day.”
Rowyn turned and left. Her tone was lighter than her words or face implied, but Eliza let it go. She had spoken the truth, and Rowyn could talk to her if that truth was an issue.
“Is it time to go yet?” Elliot asked.
Both kids ran into the room with excited looks on their faces.
“Yup, we’re all packed. Go get your seatbelts on and we’llhead off.”
The kids ran, but Amelia stopped and turned.
