“That’s not fair. I would never keep something important from you. Amelia entrusted me with this, and it was important that she saw that trust respected. Considering I knew you would be finding out within a few weeks, I didn’t see the harm in—”
“Exactly,” Eliza said, cutting across Rowyn. “You did not see the harm, but it caused harm nonetheless. If I had known about this beforehand, I would not have gone on the trip. I would have sent one of my colleagues to deal with it. I would have prioritised a vital moment in my child’s life if I had known it was far more than just a school sports day.”
Eliza bent down to pick up her laptop bag and give herself a moment to regain the composure that was holding on by a thread. She hadn’t wanted to get into any of this right now, but Rowyn was determined to make her talk regardless of what she wanted. “I understand that the importance of this won’t be obvious to everybody. Missing a school sports day would be ablip in another parent’s situation. However, by your reaction yesterday, I know that the importance is obvious to you. Amelia went through hell because of these races, and the fact that she not only competed today, but also won, is a huge milestone. A milestone thatImissed. Because I did not have all of the relevant information. I was very clear when we spoke about this working that I needed clear and direct communication. Neither of which I got. Which is a clear indicator that this is not working,” Eliza said.
The last part came out with more force than Eliza intended, and Rowyn’s breath hitched as the multiple meanings behind that statement landed. Eliza wasn’t even sure whatthisshe was referring to, and Rowyn’s eyes searched her face as if she were trying to find the answer to that question too.
“Elle…”
The nickname poked at the walls Eliza was trying so hard to keep in place as Rowyn’s face fell and tore at her heart.
“I am angry right now, at you, at myself, at the things that I cannot now change. I need to go and catch up on work while they are asleep so that I do not miss more time with my children this week. I need to prioritise them, and we can talk more when they go to Henry’s. I can’t discuss this more until they aren’t here. Please, respect that.”
Despite her anger, Eliza hated seeing the pain becoming evident on Rowyn’s face. She especially hated being the cause of it. If anything though, it was further proof that this wasn’t working.
“I told myself all day that you would be angry, and that you’d push me away, but that I would stay firm and stay by your side, and we would figure it out. I wouldn’t let you push me away, I’d be the voice of reason. Now that we’re here, I didn’t account for you walking away instead. There’s no way for me to stay firm without disrespecting your wishes, and I’m saying all of thisbecause I don’t know what else to do except tell you everything.”
The sadness coating Rowyn’s words almost melted Eliza’s resolve. Almost.
“I wish you’d have done that sooner. But right now, I am the one who is staying firm and being the voice of reason. I need you to respect that. If you can’t, then I can pay for you to stay at a hotel until we can discuss things again at the weekend. Please understand, I’m not saying that as a threat. I understand my actions have put you in a difficult position, and if you cannot stay in my home until I am able to give this the time and respect it deserves to resolve it, then I will support you with that.”
Eliza did not want Rowyn to feel stuck. Her biggest fear when they had crossed the lines to begin with was Rowyn feeling powerless, like she had no choice but to remain here even if things got messy. Eliza did not want to compel Rowyn to act a certain way for the next few days without giving her no other alternative.
“Do you want me to leave?” Rowyn’s voice was soft, almost defeated.
Did she want Rowyn to leave? The immediate response in her head was no. Eliza couldn’t imagine Rowyn not being here in the morning. Was that the right decision though? Eliza had no idea what was right anymore.
“I already told you what I want. To not discuss anything further until the kids are not here. The decision whether that is something you can do while staying here, or not, needs to be yours. It’s about what you want.”
Rowyn scoffed, and Eliza looked at her properly. Her face was a mix of hurt, sadness, and anger that was beginning to creep in.
“I don’t want any of this. I want the Eliza who actually looks at me like I mean something to show up, not this facade of a person hidden behind coldness that I’m sure works wonders foryou when you’re dealing with the rest of your employees. I’m going to go to bed. I can’t put on a mask quite as well as you, but I’m good enough to pretend everything is fine around the kids for a few days. Goodnight, Eliza.”
Eliza had always hated nicknames. But hearing her full name instead of the shortened version she had gotten used to from Rowyn’s lips was another sting to add to the ever-growing list of wounds from today. Eliza gave Rowyn some time to get to her bedroom before she made her way to her office and turned on her laptop. Her phone pinged where it lay on the desk, and a traitorous jolt of hope blossomed that it might be Rowyn. What Eliza would even want her to say at this point was a mystery, but her body reacted to the mere idea of hearing from her all the same.
Are the kids asleep? Give me a call when they’re down.
Eliza frowned at the message from Henry. It wasn’t that it was unusual for him to want to talk to her—they chatted regularly. But they had only parted ways a couple of hours ago after pizza, so what could’ve come up in the interim to require a phone call? She dialled his number and waited with a sense of something looming overhead.
“So, when’d you start banging the nanny?”
Eliza almost dropped the phone in shock at the sentence Henry uttered the minute the call connected.
“Wh-what are you talking about?”
Did Amelia say something? Did Elliot see them kiss? Was Rowyn angry enough with me earlier that she decided to tell Henry?
No. She shut that last thought down immediately. Rowyn was anything but spiteful, and despite what Eliza had implied earlier, she trusted her.
“I thought I was supposed to be the one to sleep with the nanny, isn’t that the cliché? Come on, spill the beans,” Henrysaid as he chuckled.
“Stop being crass and tell me where the hell this is coming from,” Eliza said in exasperation.
As if her day hadn’t been eventful enough, and she still had work to do. He needed to get to the point so she could assess the situation and what he knew.
“Rowyn was worried earlier that she had been too harsh on you. She let slip that you had called her the night before and that you sounded exhausted, and she felt bad about adding to your stress. I’ve never known you to call a nanny, or anyone else for that matter, while you’re in bed. She didn’t say a word when I questioned it, but her reddened face gave a lot away. Don’t blame her, it wasn’t her fault. I put the pieces together all by myself.”
There was no point in denying it. Henry knew her too well to fall for it anyway, plus, she was too tired to make up anything halfway plausible. Surprisingly, the idea of Henry knowing about her and Rowyn didn’t leave her feeling quite as anxious as she had expected it would.
