“It happened before she became our nanny. I didn’t plan for it. I met her at a bar, it was supposed to be a one-night stand, and the next day she showed up at the house ready to move in. It was…inconvenient.”
Henry laughed out loud then, a full bellied laugh that had Eliza’s lips twitching in a smile involuntarily.
“Only you would find yourself in the middle of an honest to God plot from a romantic comedy and call it inconvenient. So, you slept together once, she moved in and now you’re together? Fuck me, that’s more than she bargained for when she signed that contract.”
Eliza closed her eyes and tried to figure out how to explain exactly what had gotten them here. Henry’s laughter subsided, and Eliza continued to stay silent as her words failed to form.
“Hey, I’m kidding, you know that, right? She seems great, honestly. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you really happy, and the kids can’t stop talking about how happy you are. If Rowyn is the cause of that, then I am all for it.”
Eliza was embarrassed by the tears that slid down her cheeks as she sniffed, making it quite obvious that she was crying.
“What’s wrong, Eliza? Talk to me, please.”
Eliza took a deep breath, and then another, and did just that. She told Henry everything. Well, mostly everything. She kept the intimate details to herself but told him about how things had been since Rowyn arrived, and her inability to fight the clear attraction between them. She told him about her fears because of their age gap and the power imbalance, about how Rowyn calmed those fears so easily, about the feelings that she hadn’t experienced in far too long. Then she told him about what had happened today, and the clarity that there was no way to make this work.
“Eliza. I mean this as lovingly as possible, but you need to cut the bullshit. Rowyn did nothing wrong by not telling you about the race. Amelia opened up to her, and if Rowyn had told you and broken that trust, our daughter might never have done what she did today. I’m sorry you missed it, it sucked, but it’s nobody’s fault. You would’ve been there if you had known. And Rowyn would have told you if she had known you would’ve gotten held up with work. You both made the best decisions with the information you had at hand, and now you’re using it as an excuse to throw away the first real chance of happiness you’ve had since you lost Prince Charming. Is it because you’re still in love with me?”
Eliza scoffed, taking the sentence as intended. Henry loved his Prince Charming moniker, and he knew as well as she did that they loved each other far better since they had stopped trying to be in love with each other.
“Aside from that, how in the hell would it work, Henry? You know how hard it’s been with the kids. They adore Rowyn, I’ve never seen them respond to anyone the way they do with her. She justgetsthem. Look at what Amelia achieved today. They’ve come on so much since Rowyn has been here. They are so much calmer, happier. How do I risk taking that away from them if things go wrong? How do I put myself and my wants first when they need her?”
Eliza waited and waited some more. Eventually, Henry sighed loudly.
“I’m going to say some things that you’re not going to want to hear. And I want to be very clear before I do that I amnotcriticising your parenting in any way. You’re the best mom I know, hands down. Okay?”
That didn’t sound good. Eliza wasn’t sure she had the room for any more guilt today, but she agreed anyway.
“Have you considered that the difference in the kids has less to do with what Rowyn has done for them, and more to do with what Rowyn has done foryou? Don’t get me wrong, she is some sort of nanny miracle worker, that’s for sure. She’s great with them. But I think the biggest difference you’re seeing in the kids is they are calmer and happier because you are calmer and happier. And I know you’re going to think that means I’m saying you’re the reason they were chaos demons before, but I’m not.”
That was exactly what Eliza had been thinking, but she stayed silent instead as Henry continued.
“They are still adorable chaos demons. They still drive me up the walls, same as before. If you think about it, I’m pretty sure they are the same with you. You’re different, though. You’re managing it differently because you’ve learned more about why they react the way they do. We both have. You’re calmer because Rowyn makes you feel calmer. You have more room to enjoy the chaos because you’re happier. The kids are maturing, learningand growing, that’s for sure. But the person who Rowyn has affected the most here is you, Eliza.”
Eliza sat with that for a moment, and the truth was undeniable. Yes, the kids had come on leaps and bounds since Rowyn’s arrival, but could that have as much if not more to do with the way Eliza was seeing them now? The way she was reacting to them, plus the fact that she was around more and had reprioritised. Something she should have done regardless of Rowyn and would continue to do.
“Listen, we both know relationships aren’t sunshine and rainbows. They are messy and complicated, and sometimes they don’t work out no matter how much you want them to. If you take a chance with Rowyn and it goes to hell, it’ll hurt. It’ll suck for you and the kids, and me, because she bakes excellent cookies and sends them with the kids when they come here.”
Eliza chuckled and rolled her eyes, even if Henry couldn’t see it.
“But the kids do notneedRowyn. They do need their mom to be happy, though, or at the very least giving happiness her best shot. To show them that prioritising happiness is important. How are they ever gonna do it for themselves if they don’t see you doing it? If Rowyn is gone tomorrow, you’re still going to know everything you’ve learned. The kids will continue to thrive, I am certain of that. You’re twice the parent I’ve ever been.”
“Are you fishing for compliments again? You know I think you’re a great dad. I didn’t have much of one to compare you to, but I’m pretty certain I picked the best for them,” Eliza said.
“Surprisingly, I’m not fishing for compliments. I’m a good dad, I know that. I also know I have my mom picking up half of my slack, and I’m well aware showing up as a dad gets me medals you’ve never gotten. I am in awe of all that you do, and I will be forever grateful that my kids get you as their mom. Amelia gets to see every day how women can do anything,including kicking ass in work, while being an excellent parent. But I also want her to see that she can have all of that and be happy and in love if that’s what she chooses. With whomever she chooses. That example is an important one to set, you know? So when her prince or princess charming or whatever heir to the throne shows up one day, she won’t turn them away.”
Eliza’s eyes stung with tears again, but with ones of gratitude. She was overcome with love for the man who had given her the best gifts in the world and cherished them as much as she did.
“You’re a sap. But I love you for it. And you may get medals that wouldn’t be as easily given out to me, but you deserve every one of them. I don’t know what I am going to do, but I do know that no matter what, our kids are going to be fine with both of us. Thank you for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome. And when you figure your shit out, I’ve got about twenty more jokes about you screwing the nanny that I need to get back to. Night, Cinders.”
Eliza chuckled at the nickname she had vetoed long ago but that still popped up on occasion. After Lee had nicknamed Henry Prince Charming, he had asked if that made her Cinderella. Rags to riches, hand me downs to ballgowns, the comparisons had kept coming. Eliza had never been one for fairytales or princesses who needed rescuing, and it wasn’t the type of stories she read to the kids either. In her stories, princesses rescued themselves, and happily ever after didn’t have to include someone who completed you. People were whole, all by themselves, and nobody needed to save the day to prove that you were worthy.
Eliza was beginning to think that maybe Henry was right, though. She loved showing her kids that women could have it all, butwasshe showing them that? Happily ever after came in many forms, as did love, and romance didn’t need to play a part. But surely happiness did. Eliza couldn’t pretend she had beengenuinely happy before Rowyn. Not the kind of happiness that people wrote stories about, the kind she wanted her children to strive for. She had spent so long trying to prove she could do it all that she had forgotten what all even was. What, or who, she was even proving it to.
Maybe, just maybe, having it all wasn’t only for fairytales.
Chapter Twenty-Two
