“Areyouokay?” I asked her.
“I’m fine.” She let out a hollow chuckle and shook her head. “I love my brother to death. Really, I do. But sometimes he can be really selfish.”
I gave her a puzzled look, and Stella had just opened her mouth to say something else when Brooklyn appeared in the doorway. His cheeks were flushed.
“I should probably take you home now,” he said.
“Okay. Sure. Yeah.” I nodded tensely as I got up, leaving Stella still sitting on Brooklyn’s bed. I glanced back at her as I left the room, and she mustered up a faint smile.
After we left, Brooklyn flipped through several heavy metal songs on his car stereo before letting out a frustrated groan and shutting the music off. The rain pounded hard on the windows, and I couldn’t steady my bobbing knees. In my head, I toed the line between asking out of care and keeping my mouth shut so I didn’t overstep the whole damn thing. After all, what did I know about any of this? I could read about it as much as I wanted, but like I’d been learning with Nikki, real life experience was the only way you couldreallylearn.
When we pulled up to my house, Brooklyn kept his hands white-knuckle tight on the steering wheel.
“Thanks for today,” I said. “I had a good time. Despite the weird movie choice. That was on me.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied. “I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to watch the other one.”
“Next time, then.” I nodded.
“Right. Next time.”
And that was the end of that. I fumbled with the seat belt as I readied myself to step into the downpour. Before I shut the door behind me, I turned back to him.
“Will you text me when you get home?” I asked.
He finally looked up at me, his blue eyes glazed over with an emptiness that made my heart clench. “Of course,” he said softly.
I shut the car door and watched him pull away. Rain came down on my head in fat blobs, and despite getting soaked, all I wanted was a warm shower.
I did just that, and afterward, I lay in bed, wrapped tightly in my plush blanket. When I checked my phone, there were still no messages from him. After some internal tug-of-war, I decided to leave him be. If I was in his shoes, I’d want some space too. At least, that was what I told myself.
Eleven
I woke up late the next morning, still without a text or explanation from Brooklyn. Nikki meandered into my room around ten and sat cross-legged at the foot of my bed, furiously scrolling through her phone.
“I cannot believe he doesn’t have one social media account.” She groaned. “I can’t even find a goddamn Instagram. Like, who doesn’t have Instagram?”
“What? Who?” The words were groggy as they came out of my mouth, and I sat up in bed and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. It was still raining out, and through my open window, the dark sky cast a gray haze across my room. A small pile of clothes (mostly running attire) had collected at the foot of my bed, and suddenly all I could think about was how badly I needed to do my laundry.
“Brooklyn.” Theduhwas implied.
I followed up with the next obvious question, even though I could have probably predicted Nikki’s response. “Why?”
“Because I need the insider info on who my sister is dating,” she replied, again with aduhimplied. “I need to know where he went to preschool, who his best friends are, identify any potential competition that comments on his photos . . . you know, the standard stuff.”
“Please.” I groaned as I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got up. My knees popped and cracked as I stretched. “We’re not dating.”
I didn’t even want to speak it into existence, because that madewhateverwas going on that skirted the line between friends and more than friends too real. Not just for my sake, but for his too. I kept what he’d said at the forefront of my mind: People in recovery shouldn’t date. Period.
“Do you have clothes you need me to put in the wash?” I asked Nikki.
“What?” She shot me a confused look. “Can you focus, please?”
“Iamfocused—on things I have to get done today. Laundry. Quick Mart for Mom because she’s teaching back-to-back classes at the community center. Library to return a few books. Feel free to join me for any of those.”
Nikki, whose head had been back down in her phone during my quick tirade (and may or may not have been listening at all), suddenly snapped upright. “Oh. I found something.”
“What did you find?” I sighed.
