“Smooth subject change,” Brooklyn muttered.
It was one of the first times I’d actually heard Alec laugh. “Oh wow. I know that look. That’s your I’m-in-deep-shit look.”
“Yeah, Alec, I’m in deep shit,” Brooklyn scoffed. He stepped up to the ball and swung his putter a few more times. “I’m in so fucking deep that I’m drowning.”
Alec whipped his sunglasses off and let them dangle around his neck. “Wait, are you serious?”
Brooklyn stepped away from the ball and put his hands on his hips. “What do you think?”
“Well, do you love her?”
I almost lurched forward. Did he love me? And even if he did, would he tell Alec? Would he tellme? Or would he hesitate and then pretend it was “nothing important”?
Brooklyn met Alec’s question (and mine) with silence. He licked his lips before lining back up with the ball, swinging his club back, and hitting the ball farther up the green.
“Oh good lord,” Alec continued. “You do. You love her.”
After a long pause, Brooklyn sighed. “It’s fucking terrible, isn’t it?”
Fucking terrible. The words echoed in my head like a broken record. I tried to keep my head steady to keep myself tuned into their conversation.
“Terrible?” Alec asked. “How so?”
“Because I’m terrible for her,” Brooklyn answered. “But I can’t stay away. It’s like even when I’m not getting high I’m still fiending like a junkie.”
He took another absent-minded swing of the golf club and scraped the ground, sending a chunk of grass and soil flying into the air.
“That’s kind of insane.” Alec scrunched his nose. “Have you told her?”
“I tried to last night. But I got nervous, and I couldn’t get it out.”
Of fucking course.
“You better tell her,” Alec said with a shrug. “Before you fuck something else up.”
“Yeah,” Brooklyn replied and clicked his tongue. “I know.”
My heart jumped into my throat. I didn’t know how to feel; some fuzzy mixture of confusion and happiness and a little bit of nausea, though the latter was probably from the alcohol and the heat.
“Here.” Stella reappeared with drinks in hand, sticking another Bloody Mary under my nose. She squinted her eyes at me. “You good?”
I let out a heavy exhale. “Yeah. A little hot, that’s all.”
I looked back at Brooklyn, still lost in his conversation with Alec. He glanced in my direction and smiled at me.
I realized the fuzzy, sickening feeling that rattled my stomach was whatever feelings I had for Brooklyn, taking a form and shape I could finally recognize. It took the air from my lungs until I was just about ready to pass out.
Because I did. I loved him too.
>> <<
“Oh wow. That dress is insane. In a good way, of course.”
Stella had come into the bedroom to borrow a spritz of perfume when she saw me crouched in front of the mirror in the corner of the room, finishing up my makeup. I’d tied my hair into a slicked-back bun, leaving the entire open back of the dress exposed.
“Thanks,” I replied. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
“Oh please,” Stella replied with a nonchalant wave. “You’re going to give my brother a heart attack, and I can’t wait to see that.”
