“You both failed me in different ways,” Georgia explained. “but that’s not the entire story. You also shaped me by all the ways you two loved me and cared for me. You gave me the Stevens legacy, and the gift of delight. You gave me Julia and the dream of Paris. And after you left, Daddy gave me a stable and safe home. Those things are not small things. There was a lot of good mixed in with the bad in my childhood, in what you did as parents. It was a mixed bag.”
“It always is,” Star interjected with a sigh. “Life is a mixed bag.”
“I’m learning that family is a mixed bag,” Georgia added with a dry smile. “A complicated, pain-in-the-ass-at-times, loving, frustrating, yet worthwhile mixed bag.”
Star nodded. “Isn’t that the truth.”
“I don’t want to hold on to this hurt and anger until it turns to resentment,” Georgia said firmly. “I don’t want to calcify. You hurt me. You and Daddy made a mess of our family. Your failures cost me a lot, but I’m choosing to forgive, to continue to grow in relationship with you because you’re my mother. A relationship with you is worth it. You are worth it. I don’t love you just because you’re convenient or easy all the time. That’s not how love works. That’s not what it means to be family. I choose you, Mama, including and despite the mess and the pain of the past.” She looked at her mother earnestly, pleading for understanding.
Star was quiet for a moment. “Is this what you really want?” she asked, a note of vulnerability in her voice. “Are you sure?”
Georgia nodded. “As sure as I can be.”
“It won’t be easy,” Star warned. She looked hopeful and humble.
“Nothing worth doing ever is,” Georgia quoted, echoing one of Buck’s favorite sayings.
Star smiled. “For once, your father and I agree,” she said dryly. She looked at Georgia and sighed, all her protests seeming to melt away. Georgia beamed, sensing she had won.
“You want some honey toast?” Star asked. “Everything in life is better with honey toast.”
Georgia hesitated. “Is it your homemade bread?” she asked.
Star shook her head. “Store-bought, I’m afraid.”
Georgia grinned. “That sounds perfect.”
Georgia knew that the road ahead would be hard. She had nowhere to live, no income, and Star was facing a long, difficult decline in her health. But for now, they were together. For one brief, warm, shiny moment, everything felt right in the world.
41
The next morning,bright and early, Georgia walked across the lawn to Cole’s little cabin holding a plate of fresh blueberry muffins. She’d been awake since four a.m. because of jet lag and had decided to make herself useful, so she’d scrounged up ingredients in the kitchen and busied herself with baking until the clock read a reasonable hour. She didn’t know how Cole would feel about her sudden appearance this early, but in her experience, there was seldom a situation on earth that was not improved by the addition of fresh muffins.
Georgia had stayed with Star until evening and then caught the last ferry back to Friday Harbor late the night before. Star had explained that she was not allowed to have overnight guests in her new home, but insisted Georgia stay in the guest room in the cottage in Friday Harbor until the sale was finalized in a few weeks. They had agreed that Star would take the ferry to Friday Harbor the next afternoon so they could start brainstorming about the future. Now Georgia had a few hours until Star was scheduled to arrive, so she decided to go see Cole, peace offering in hand.
It was misting, the rain falling softly over the grass, beading on her hair and eyelashes. Georgia knocked firmly. The door opened, and Cole stood there in the cool gray early morning light, shirtless (as usual) and wearing a worn pair of gray pajama pants. He had a pancake turner in one hand, and the air was thick with the smell of frying bacon.
“You’re up,” she observed.
“You again,” he said, looking ever so slightly amused. She brushed past him, so close she could feel the warmth of his skin. Did the man ever wear a shirt inside? It was distracting. She set the muffins on the counter and perched on the edge of the bed. They eyed each other for a moment, neither quite sure how to break the silence. Just how much had he seen that first night in those few seconds she’d been in the tub? She had a feeling the answer was plenty. Her cheeks pinked at the thought.
“Your bacon’s burning,” she observed. He whirled and with a few muttered words scooped the strips of bacon onto a plate. She kept her eyes on him the whole time, drinking him in. She thought of Etienne, of their last interaction, and how she’d realized then what she really felt for Cole. It scared her a little. Against Etienne’s selfishness she’d measured Cole’s quiet, steady care and thoughtfulness. He was easy on the eyes, but he was far more than that. He was a truly good man—intelligent and loyal, and although he could be a little grumpy on the surface, she was seeing more and more of his tender heart.
Now here they were. Together. What she had told herself was impossible when she headed off to Paris was suddenly within reach. But she had no idea what he was thinking. They had exchanged strong words the last time she’d been in this cabin. She wondered how he felt now. She was hoping... she had no idea what she was hoping for, but she couldn’t seem to keep away from him.
“Bacon?” He turned and offered her the plate. The bacon glistened invitingly from a bed of paper towels soaking up the grease.
“Thank you.” She took the least crispy strip and crunched it, aware that he was watching her intently.
“How did it go with Star?” he asked, setting the plate of bacon on the table.
She nibbled the strip of bacon, thinking of his mouth on hers at the Oyster Shuck. It was distracting.
“I told her I intend to stay,” Georgia replied. “I want to care for her through her illness.”
Cole nodded. “For how long?” he asked.
“For as long as she has left.”
