After our fudge-making scene is over, Dani heads out to finish her last hour of her shift. She’ll come back later. Mom bids us farewell too. She and Dot and Mr. Butters are going to pick up Gus from school and then come back to the shop after the filming is done to help pack up the store.
Henry and I shoot our next scene in the kitchen as we discuss my vision to open my own shop.
“What is your dream, Emmie?” Henry asks me. “What draws you to making chocolates?”
This part is where I truly shine. I’m not nervous. I’m bright and articulate and vivacious as I share my genuine enthusiasm for chocolate making and describe the storefront I’ve dreamed of for years. I talk about how a chocolate can make a moment into a special memory, how it can console, or show love, or bring a little spot of happiness.
“I love that something I make can brighten someone’s day,” Iexplain. Then I look up at Henry and stumble over my words. There’s an expression on his face I can’t quite place. It’s almost tender, a dash of astonishment mixed with a healthy dose of admiration. It catches me off guard. When I finish my answer, fumbling over the last bit, Henry just keeps looking at me that way for a moment until Crisanto clears his throat meaningfully. Henry blinks hard and then seems to snap back into reality to focus on the show. Somehow we finish the scene. My heart is beating a little more quickly than normal, as though I’ve been running up a flight of stairs. This is happening fast and it feels intense. I don’t know how to handle it all. My insides are like half-set fudge, smooth and creamy and so thoroughly agitated I can’t quite seem to catch my breath. Adrenaline is good, I remind myself, thinking of Jakob’s explanation. I need to channel this feeling to help me do my best.
We have just finished filming the last sequence and are debriefing the day when Mom and Dot walk back in the door with Gus and Mr. Butters in tow.
“Mommy!” Gus cries, flinging himself at me. I catch him in a tight hug.
“How’d your science project presentation go, buddy?” I nuzzle the top of his head where his hair is still downy-chick soft.
He disengages and says nonchalantly, “Easy. It was about the moon.” Then he catches sight of Henry and stops short, eyes round and mouth open. This is the first time they’re meeting in person.
“Hello,” says Henry, sticking his hand out. “You must be Gus. I’m Henry.”
Gus shoots a sideways look at me, dumbfounded. He’s grown up withSavor. I used to nurse him late at night while watchingthe show to keep myself awake. Henry Summers has been a fixture in our lives since the beginning of Gus’s life. Gus has never known a world without Henry Summers in it. Tentatively, Gus extends his hand and gives Henry a solemn look and a firm handshake. “Did you know that there’s such a thing as vampire stars that suck the life out of other stars?” he asks conversationally.
Henry looks startled by this information. “I did not know that,” he says, casting a quick, cautious look at me. “That sounds quite violent.”
Gus cocks his head and considers this. “Maybe,” he says confidently, “but once the vampire star eats another smaller star, it explodes.” He shrugs at the casual brutality of the universe.
“Sounds like poetic justice,” Henry says diplomatically. He looks like he doesn’t quite know what to do with this conversation, but he’s bravely forging ahead anyway.
Gus wrinkles his brow. “It’s not poetry,” he says in confusion. “It’s just the laws of space.”
“Right.” Henry nods quickly. “You’re a very clever boy, aren’t you, Gus?”
Gus heaves a sigh and nods sagely. “Yes, I guess I am, but thinking about space can make a guy feel really small.”
That’s my cue to step in before this conversation derails further. “I think Grammy’s got a special job for you, bud,” I tell him, kissing the top of his head. “Why don’t you go find her? She’s in the kitchen. I brought some of my sprinkle sugar cookies. You can have one.” I brought them for the shoot and set some aside for Gus. It’s my mom’s tried-and-true recipe and Gus’s favorite cookie. We cover them with sprinkles and he takes them to school on hard days. Gus scampers off to find Mom and the promised cookies.
Henry looks after him thoughtfully. “What a singular child,” he says. “As a boy all I remember thinking about was trains. I’m not sure the universe ever crossed my mind.”
“Gus has gotten very interested in space since my dad passed away,” I explain. “They were very close, and I think it’s Gus’s way of trying to make sense of Dad’s death, of mortality in general. He’s become obsessed with space catastrophes and weird facts. I’m not sure if I should encourage it or not.” I spread my hands, a gesture of helplessness. I don’t know how to help my son with his fears and fixations, other than to keep showing him constancy and care. A lot of parenting is just showing up and doing your best, Mom tells me all the time. So that’s what I try to do. I hope it’s enough. I fear it might not be.
“Gus is lucky to have you,” Henry says.
“Do you like kids?” I ask, unsubtly prying. It’s an important question to ask if we are going to have a future together.
Henry hesitates. “I do. I haven’t been around them much though, to be honest. I never quite feel like I know the right things to say to them. It’s funny. I can be in front of an audience of millions with no trouble, but one primary school child makes me feel tongue-tied.” He gives me a rueful smile. “I have a niece who’s nine though, so I’m not wholly unskilled when it comes to children.”
I don’t know why, but I feel a little disappointed and unsettled by his answer. Gus is the most important person to me, and I always imagined my partner, when I found the right one, would be an excellent mentor to my son. I guess Henry could grow into it. People learn and grow, right? I push the niggling worry aside. It will all work out. It has to.
Chapter 17
Right before dinnertime, Henry confirms that we are done filming. We have everything we need for the day. Crisanto is packing up his equipment, and Azra is standing in front of the store texting on her phone. I feel light and a little giddy. I did it! We did it! And now it’s over. We’ll get footage of the new store whenever I find the location and footage of the grand opening whenever that happens. I head back to the kitchen, intent on a snack. I’m starving. That sandwich was a long time ago.
“How’s it coming with finding a storefront?” Henry asks as I find the plate of sugar cookies I brought to share. They’re a recipe Mom used to make all the time when I was young, so buttery and soft and rich they’re almost like shortbread. Now I make them for Gus. This batch I’ve rolled in a mixture of colorful and gold sprinkles. I offer Henry a cookie and take one for myself.
“Not good,” I admit with a sigh. “We’ve looked at all the inventory in the surrounding small towns, and there’s nothing that’s a good fit.”
Dawn found a beautiful storefront in downtown Winslow on Bainbridge Island, but the rent was more than twice what I can afford to pay. I’m beginning to get really worried I won’t find a place.
“I’m sure something will turn up,” Henry says comfortingly. “Have you considered something farther afield? I’d be happy to put in a good word for you if you want to try a city with a strong food scene.” He looks at me expectantly.
