Her hand flies to her mouth as she points at herself with the other hand. I nod.
Her eyes shine as she plants her hands on her hips, looking at the floor before taking a deep breath and looking me square in the eyes. “Okay, I’m just going to say it how it is.”Here we go, Ideserve this, whatever she dishes out. I deserve it. “I hated how you made me feel earlier on, and before you jump in and say anything, Iknowyou didn’t mean it with any malice, but you have to understand, Nate, that Pete wasn’t a nice guy, and he’d always follow it up with an apology, telling me he didn’t mean it.”
I know she needs to get this out, so I guide her to the sofa on the other side of the room. “I’m listening. I-.”
She cuts me off. “Shut up, I’m not finished.”
So, I close my mouth immediately and let her carry on.
She wrings her hands. “It started small, he would look at my phone and who I had in my contacts or who was on my social media. He’d ask why certain people were there if I hadn’t spoken to them in a while or questioned why work colleagues had my number. Then he’d say it was because he loved me so much, he trusted me, but he didn’t trust them. Then it moved on to what I would wear: if it were too low or too revealing. He’d ask whether I really wanted to walk around like that? Before I knew what had happened, I had changed my whole outlook.”
I reach down to the small fridge I keep for fizzy drinks and pull out two, handing her one. She taps the top and opens it. “He’d have these outbursts sometimes, and I’d be so scared of him. He never physically hurt me, but it was there in his eyes, and I always played it off as him being stressed or tired because the next day I’d get these extravagant flowers and gifts and an apology.”
The can in my hand creaks and groans; my blood boils and threatens to spill over.Don’t crush the can, Nate.
“He even convinced me that I would want sex if I just gave in and carried on with it, but I always felt hollow afterwards. Now, looking back, there was no love there whatsoever. It was all one-sided, and I was too afraid to stand up for myself, and so I stayedquiet, and I put up this front that I wouldn’t take crap from anyone, but that’s so far from the truth.”
She sits back and takes a drink. “Hayleigh, you are absolutely that person who doesn’t take crap from anyone. I’ve seen it, you were sucked into the lie he wove around you, but you can’t be blamed for that.”
“I’ve never taken anything for myself, Nate. I’ve never putmyselffirst. You hurt me earlier, and you pissed me off, but I don’t feel afraid when I tell you that.”
“You don’t have to be afraid with me, ever.” I keep my hands to myself, even though all I want to do is hold her.
She nudges my arm. “Thank you for helping me, Nate, since Vegas. It means a lot.”
Covering her hand with mine, I give it a squeeze. “If you still want my help with the list, then I’m here.”
She turns on the sofa to face me. “But what if I can’t give you a whole me? What if I can only offer you scraps?”
My brows draw together. “What do you mean? Scraps of the list?”
She rolls her eyes. “God, you’re dense sometimes, Nate.”
She moves with lightning speed as she straddles my legs.What do I do now?My heart thuds wildly in my chest as I realise just how close she is, enough to see the light blue flecks in those ocean eyes of hers. The smell of her cherry scented shampoo makes me feel heady, so I clench my fists. She shifts slightly, and my eyes zero in on her perfect lips. My brain short-circuits as I imagine kissing her.Great, now my dick is hard. I squeeze my eyes shut.
“Oh my god, have I misread the signs?” She shifts, and I grab hold of her hips, keeping her in place.
I shake my head, admiring her even more and praying to God that she stays exactly where she is. “Oh, you’ve definitelynotmisread the situation, Shortcake. I need a minute to calm myself and make sure I’m not imagining this.”
Her beautiful face frames my vision, locks of brunette hair falling around her. She holds her hands on either side of my face. “Nate…” Her words are a whisper.
“I need you to be clear on what it is you want from me. I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is.”
She smiles. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, but I was scared that I would be the same as last time. That I was the same person I was when I was with Pete, but I’m not her anymore, and you’re not him. I’m not afraid to tell you how it is.”
“So, tell me.” I gently run my hand up the back of her t-shirt; she shivers.
“I want you to keep helping me with the list…and I want to kiss you.”
I smile. “We can do that.”
There is no way I’m rushing this, but I can’t deny how nervous I feel, almost like this is my first time ever kissing a girl. My hands slightly shake, and a hundred thoughts run through my mind. This girl means so fucking much to me. I’d give her the world if I could. Steadying my hand, it snakes into her hair and splays across the back of her head. She leans slowly forward, and my eyes fall closed as her lips brush across mine.
Her hands snake around the back of my neck, and I deepen the kiss, swiping my tongue over the seam of her lips. She opens for me, and I dart my tongue inside of her mouth. She doesn’t pull away; she tangles her tongue with mine, a moan bubbling up from her throat.
This kiss is unlike any other kiss I’ve ever had.
My dick thickens and hardens in my jeans, yet I’m not embarrassed, not when she rolls her hips and rocks on top of me, with each pass she makes, a shudder ripples through her. What Iwould give right now to rip off her leggings, pull her underwear aside and bury myself so fucking deep.
