He sneers. On the outside, he’s perfectly polished, and I guess he could be deemed attractive in some circles, but he’s too boyish for me, too prim. He steps closer, forcing me to step back. My back hits the wall next to the door.
He leans an arm against the wall, above my head, as he leans in close. “I like a little fire in a woman, Hayleigh, but once you’re with me, you willnotbehave the way you did downstairs. It’s embarrassing.” He stands up straight, his hands moving to the lapels of his dinner jacket, and the move reminds me of Pete as he drones on about something.
We were visiting his parents' house for a dinner party in honour of our engagement, and as usual, the women stayed in one room while the men gathered in another, talking business and drinking themselves stupid.
I wasn’t drinking anymore because Pete said that after the wedding, we could try for a family, and so I was doing everything I could to be healthy. He promised to do the same, but as soon as the big boys retreated to his father's study, he grabbed a cigar and a tumbler of brandy. I asked him not to smoke the cigar; the smell was horrible, and he promised. His father laughed and told him a woman needed a firm hand if she didn’t bite her tongue. My father laughed along with him and told Pete sometimes a woman needs more than a firm hand to keep her quiet.
I remember feeling sick to my stomach. Ashamed and embarrassed, but most of all, I felt hopeless.
The memory is so jarring that I raise a hand between Bennington and me, and he stops talking, giving me a strange look as his face turns a nasty shade of red.
He spits out. “Howdareyou?” He takes a step forward.
That’s when it hits me.
Nate’s words.‘You just need to remember who you are.’
Something deep inside of me snaps.
I place my hands on my hips and cock my head. “How dareI?”
Bennington stops short, a look of confusion and…is that a flash of fear?
I step toward him until I’m right in his personal space. I have to look up, but that’s okay because I remember who I am.
I’m not Hayleigh, the victim of Pete Winters.
I’m not Hayleigh, the broken, black sheep daughter of wealthy parents who hate her.
I’m not Hayleigh, the beaten friend, and let down.
My hand flies out as I grab hold of his limp dick, squeezing tight before pulling as hard as I can. Bennington let’s out a garbled, high-pitched scream before dropping to his knees.
Grabbing hold of his hair and yanking his head back, getting close to his face, I whisper. “I’m HayleighfuckingWallcroft, and I don’t take shit from little limp dick fuckers like you. So remember this the next time your parents arrange your relationships and treat the next woman with some respect.” I force his head away from me, and he scrambles up as fast as he can and struggles, limping out of my room.
Tears spring from my eyes, but for once they’re not tears of sadness. They’re tears of release, from holding onto the shit that’s been dragging me down. I’m nowhere near healed, but I’m getting there, and I know now that I don’t need to keep Nate at arm's length anymore. He’s been a constant source of support all this time, never asking more than I can give. He’s shown me time and time again that I don’t have to be whole.
Because really, who is whole? We’re all a little broken.
We’re all Kintsugi.
I grab my holdall from underneath the bed, open it and throw my clothes into it. A smile blooms on my face because I’m finally going home. Another knock on the door has me whirling around to find Thea.
She gives me a small smile as she gestures towards the bed. “You’re going then.”
This is the part I was hoping wouldn’t happen. I hoped I had more time to convince her.
I walk over to her and grab her hands in mine. “I have my own home; it has a room there ready for you. All you have to do is come with me.”
She shakes her head, her eyes cast downwards. “I wish I could, but I’m not you, Hayleigh. I don’t think I have it in me.”
“Neither did I at first. We can do this, together.” I give her my best puppy dog eyes, and this at least drags a chuckle out of her.
“Make sure you keep in touch this time, I–I…uhm, love you. Very much.” She avoids eye contact, and because I know she hates it, I throw my arms around her and squeeze her tight. For a few moments, I think she’s going to throw me off her, but then her hand gently taps my back.It’s a start.
After Thea leaves, I finish gathering my things together and take one last look at my childhood room, and I feel…nothing.No twinges of sadness or longing, this place is only a room and holds no happy memories at all.
Carrying my things downstairs to the entryway, my mother waits, a cold look on her face as she stares through me, her mouth set in a firm line, and her hands clasped in front of her.
