“What do you mean? Of course I did! I can give her the world, both of them the world, her and the baby!” I feel anger for the first time since being here. Why does she think I don’t have a chance?
“Okay, but you didn’t have a chance, Cole, because you haven’t put yourself out there, and so there is no chance of it happening because Lacey isn’t aware that is what you want.”
Well, shit.
“Ahh, so the penny finally drops, huh?” She smiles at me, and my jaw slackens.
“My dad told me a story about how he met my mum and wasted the first two years because he didn’t feel good enough. I don’t feel good enough now, Sandra…”
“Yet you still told me you could give them both the world. Funny that, isn’t it?”
“What if I can’t love that baby like my own? What if my love for Lacey isn’t enough for the both of them? What if we do make a go of it, but he’s always there, anyway?”
“Cole, when Archie’s parents died, what did your parents do?”
I reel at the change of pace. “Well, they took him in, and then eventually they adopted him.”
“Why?”
“He had no one, and they were already friends of his parents. It was the right thing to do.”
“It was an idea born out of love for the boy. Anyone can father a child, but it isn’t DNA that gives them the title of Dad; that’s earned by the man who shows up and gives his time and effort, not the man who provided the DNA, Cole.”
“So it’s as easy as that? Just show up?”
“It’s as easy as you make it. The only person who is standing in your way…is you.”
She’s right.
If DBD wants to be in the baby’s life, then that’s fine, but he isn’t going to love them the way I will.
Now I need a plan to make it up to both of them. Lacey and Peanut.
There’s only one man for the job.
I text Archie.
Chapter 14
Lacey
19weekspregnant.Babysize – mango
For the past four days, Cole has been blowing up my phone, apologising. Because I’m immature, I sent him a link to a song – Muck Sticky’s “Fuck Off (Official Dance Remix)”. Safe to say he hasn’t messaged me since.
Part of me feels sad, because even though I had gotten mad at Cole crashing in to save me from the non-date and Ted’s endless ramblings about himself, it felt like Cole was there for the wrong reasons. I wanted him to be there forme. I can’t let him off that easily, not when he wasspyingon me. Not when he’s failed me as a best friend so many times in the past few months.
I check my emails, and one has come through from the midwife. It’s a list of classes that I can start attending and book onto. One of them is yoga at the new yoga studio that’s openedup. Maybe that’s what I need, some meditation. I fill out the form, and it asks if anyone will be attending with me, so I fill out Emmy and Hayleigh’s names.They won't mind.
There’s a knock at the door, and when I pull it open, standing there is Cole, looking as delicious as could be. In one hand, he holds a gift bag, and in the other, a basket of mangos. A small smile touches my lips, which obviously he zeroes in on.
I cross my arms and level him with a glare. His shoulders slump, and he looks down. Part of me feels sorry for him, but before I can say anything, he brings his eyes to meet mine.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey. I should have let you deal with it yourself, and I should have opened up and admitted I was scared.”
I open the door and let him in. He passes the gift bag and nods for me to sit on the couch. I plop myself down, and he shouts from the kitchen, “Mango smoothie?”
“Yes, please!” I open the gift bag and smile. He’s wrapped all the items individually in various shades of yellow and orange. Each one is a mango-scented item, ranging from bath salts and body wash to shampoo and conditioner. It’s a full pamper bag, just for me.
