Giddiness bubbles up inside of me. I’ve never had the opportunity to use a claw-foot bathtub before. Growing up, we didn’t have much; it was hard. Our house was so run-down that every time you took a bath, the tub would leak down into the kitchen. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am today. I love my job at the Aquarium, and I love my apartment even more even if I don’t have room for a clawfoot tub.
I shake away the depressing thoughts and turn the water, watching as it spills from the waterfall-type tap. The only thing missing is some bubbles. I turn around and walk to the cupboard, opening the doors to find an array of potions and bath bombs. I find the lavender-scented bubble bath, the label promising it would relax me and soothe my aching bones. It doesn’t exactly say that, but that’s what I’m hoping for.
I take the items over to the bath and, like a big kid, I start mixing them like some sort of potion. I giggle to myself as I remember the stories May used to read to all of us when I would sleep over at Cole's house. My favourite was about the boy who made potions to get rid of his grandma.
May would do the different voices of each character in the book, making us all squeal with laughter. I loved the nights when I was lucky enough to experience those stories and be envious that I couldn’t have them every night. I put a hand on my stomach and rub gently.
“Don’t worry, Peanut, I’ll make sure we have story time every night, voices and all.” I smile when I feel her wriggling around.
When the bath is ready, I test the water temperature.. Anxiety grips my insides, twisting them at the thought of the water being too hot. I shake away the fears and recheck the water. Slowly, I strip down and step into the bathtub.
The bubbles tickle my legs, and the water clings to my skin like a warm embrace. As I sink beneath the surface, my muscles start to relax, and I realise how tense I have been. I reflect on the last four months since I found out I was pregnant.
I’ve been petrified that I’d be doing this alone; I could’ve been a single mum if I had to, but it was terrifying nonetheless. When I met Ted and he showed no interest in little Peanut, I was crushed. I knew I had my friends, but it wasn’t the same as having a family unit, a home, and a partner to help me through it all.
I do have that in Cole, although part of me worries that it may become too much for him and he may leave.
The negative thought seeps from my body and into the water, a trick Daisy taught me for when things become too much. Instead, I breathe in the lavender scents deeply and close my eyes.
Cole’s footsteps thunder on the stairs, followed by a muffled curse as he drops a bag. My mouth lifts in a smile as I listen to him struggle with another bag that drops. The closed door mutes his voice as he grumbles, “I can hear you giggling in there.”
My giggle turns into a full laugh when I hear a thud and Cole shouts out in pain, turning the air blue with swearing because he stumped his toe. A few moments later, he knocks on the door and opens it slowly.
With one hand over his eyes, he reaches blindly into the room and walks through the door, banging his head on the frame. “Ouch!” I stifle a giggle again but instead snort. “You’re cruel to me, Wildcat. I’ve brought in our bags. Do you want pasta or pizza?”
“Cole?” His eyes are still closed, and I have no idea why.
“Hmm?”
“Why do you have your eyes closed?”
“You’re here relaxing. I-I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me gawking, or to think that I feel I have the right to just barge in whenever I want.” He trails off, unsure of himself.
Cole Peterson, the most unshakeable man I have ever met, is at a loss for words. It warms my heart, yet it simultaneously breaks.
“Cole, look at me.” He lowers his hand slowly, his eyes darting everywhere before settling on me, still covered by water and bubbles. “I don’t ever want you to be unsure around me. I know this is new to both of us, but I want us to be comfortable with each other, so please feel free to join in at any time. I also need to ask you a favour…” He looks at me questioningly before nodding. “Could you pass me my book, just over there?”
He turns to where I nod and picks up the book. Turning it over in his hand, he notices the cover, and my cheeks flush. He looks back at me with his eyebrow cocked. “Archie wasn’t kidding when he said you liked fairy porn, huh?” He holds out the book, and I snatch it, giving him the finger. “I’ll start food in about twenty minutes, give you plenty of time with the fairy prince.” He shuts the door, chuckling to himself as he goes.
I spend ten minutes reading, then my little internal heater starts to wriggle, and I quickly finish washing. I let the water out of the tub and wait for it to slowly drain away before I try to stand, only to slip back down into the tub. My skin is on fire, and my head feels as though it’s spinning.
I lie back down in the empty tub and tilt my head back, taking in some deep breaths. I don’t trust myself to shout for Cole right now. I’m calm, but I know if I take a lungful of breath and shout, I’ll likely panic. My lungs already feel like they’re too small with not enough air in.Remember what Emmy taught you.Five things I can see –okay, easy. My feet, the tap…
“Lacey?” Cole opens the bathroom door. His eyes widen when he sees me lying there with no water in the tub. “What are you doing? Are you okay? Is Peanut okay?”
I nod weakly. “She’s fine. I’m fine, really, just felt a little woozy and couldn’t stand up.” I smile at him to ease the worry lining his face.
He strides over to me and grabs my robe before draping it over my shoulders. Wrapping one arm around my back and the other under my knees, he lifts me effortlessly out of the tub and holds me close to him. I coil my arms around his neck and look up at him, taking in his features as he carries me to the bedroom. He looks down at me and smiles softly as he places me on the bed like I am the most precious thing in the world, and for the first time in my life, I believe that I am.
**********
We spent the evening eating pasta and pizza, as Cole couldn’t decide. We played a few board games and eventually went to sleep because we were so tired. This morning, the birds woke me early, and I decided I wanted to express my gratitude to Cole for everything he has done for me. What better way to say thank you than to make pancakes?
The one problem?
I can’t make pancakes.At all.
So when Cole wakes up and makes it downstairs, he takes in the scene before him, and that’s when I notice how much he tries to put my feelings first. Throughout our friendship, he has always been the positive one, the one who tells me to keep going and not be disheartened, the one who assures me it’s okay if I can’t do something because he can. So when he schools his features, sits down to dig in, and he puts that smile on his face, I know he is so full of shit. The thought makes me burst out laughing.
