I catch sight of my dad, waiting to one side. It’s only now that I notice how unsure of himself he is. He walks over to me, wringing his hands, his brow furrowed. “Hi, sweet pea.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.
“Is this the project you were working on for Cole?” I whisper in his ear and, when I pull back, he nods with a twinkle in his eye.
Turning back to our home, I walk a little shakily to the door, a beautiful, dark, varnished wooden door with a mesmerisingsquare stained-glass window set in the middle. I look closer and see that the stained glass is a bunch of yellow flowers. Daffodil, Dahlia, Iris, Tulip and Sunflowers.
I push the door open gently, Cole’s quiet but strong presence behind me. The entryway is open and airy, the colours plain.
“I asked them to keep it plain, that way you can put your stamp on it with colours.” Cole’s voice echoes in the vast space, and I feel my heart balloon inside my chest.
Ahead of us are the stairs. They travel on either side of an empty space, as Cole says, “I know how much you love Christmas; I remembered you said that if you ever had the chance, you would have a Christmas tree in your hallway. Now we can.” I smile up at him, grateful for the little things he remembered over the years.
To our left is the living room, which is currently unfurnished, but the space is amazing. The floor is sunken in the middle of the room, big enough to seat a sofa in front of a beautiful log-style fireplace. A natural wood surround is fixed to the chimney. Suddenly, I can see us living here, at Christmas time, the decorations up and little Peanut playing happily, our entire family around us. It’s everything I have ever wanted and more.
We exit the room and walk across the hallway to the dining room. There is a window to our right, which shows the beautiful view of what will be the driveway. The wall ahead of us, the longest one that runs the length of the room, has two square windows on either side of a round window. They let in streams of beautiful, natural light that dance and sparkle across the floor.
I can imagine a long family table, similar to the one we all sit around at May’s house, only now we have one, and May can have a rest while we host. I can finally start to pay her back for all the times she fed me and kept me warm since I was a little girl.
“Is this room okay? We can change anything you don’t like.” Cole is mistaking my silence for upset, but it couldn’t be furtherfrom the truth. I spin around and throw my arms around him, trying to get as close as I can with Peanut front and centre.
“I have never been happier with my life than I am now. I can never begin to explain what this means to me. I’m so lucky I have you.”
“So am I.” He kisses me softly as a throat clears behind us.
I turn to find our whole family silently, and a little creepy, watching us. Archie bounces on his feet like an impatient toddler.
“Has she seen the room yet?” He clasps his hands in front of him as he gets a dreamy look in his eyes.
My brow raises. “The room? Which one?” I laugh.
Cole grabs my hand and interlinks our fingers as he pulls me along, everyone else following slowly behind.
We go through the hallway and up one side of the stairs to the landing. The corridor is wide with another beautiful, flowery stained glass window at the end. On either side of the corridor, I count six doors in total, three on each side.
“Ooh, mysterious.” I waggle my fingers at Cole, and he rolls his eyes.
“Two bathrooms, one on each side and four bedrooms. Ours is the last on the right, and Peanut’s is the last on the left, for when she’s ready to be in her own, of course. Do…uhm…do you wanna…” He trails off, the nerves getting the better of him. I squeeze his hand tightly and nod.
We walk to her door, and my heart starts to beat wildly. I feel her squirm in my tummy. Placing a hand on my belly, I rub small circles, though I don’t know if I am trying to calm myself or her. When Cole pushes the door open and gently nudges me forward, I’m completely lost for words.
My heart swells inside my chest, and I feel like something is lodged in my throat. Tears prick at my eyes as I take in the sight before me.
The ceiling has been painted as if a thousand clouds of all colours fill the room, with spotlights dotted around in various places. The walls are painted a beautiful blue to represent the sky, and a mural on each wall depicts different fairy tales from my childhood. It isn’t all of this that has me choking up; it’s the painting of a little blonde girl, caught mid-twirl, in the centre of the main wall. The likeness is astounding — it’s me.
My eyes fall to the only piece of furniture in the room.
It’s a wooden crib, but it isn’t just any run-of-the-mill crib; this one has been handmade.
It’s a rectangular crib. The front has beautiful carved spindles, with a latch to slide it down for ease of getting Peanut in and out. Underneath, there is a shelf for storage, holding four grey wicker baskets already. The back panel of the crib is solid wood with a raised headboard, shaped like a heart.
I step closer to it, and it’s only then that I notice that the theme of the room continues. Nate’s talents shine through in the small woodland creatures and vines carved all over the crib. The crib is a beautiful light grey, and the creatures and vines have been hand-painted white.
The room is silent as I slowly turn around and realise this family,my family, has been busy getting all of this finished whilst we’ve been away on our babymoon, and suddenly I feel selfish. My stomach sinks as I feel like I have taken too much from them, especially after everything they have already done for me.
My dad steps forward and takes hold of my hands. “It’s okay. You deserve this.”
“Did…” I gesture around the room because words are failing me, and he simply nods. Throwing my arms around him, I break down. All the years of feeling unloved and unwanted, all the heartache and sadness come pouring out of me.
He doesn’t shy away from my tears. He doesn’t offer feeble apologies. Instead, he holds me strong and lets me break as he rubs circles on my back and tells me he’s here and he isn’t going anywhere ever again.
