Cole
Istand outside Lacey’s hospital room for a few minutes, torn between just staying out here in the waiting room or going home to get changed and showered. I decide that doing as my mum asked is best; besides, it’s not as if Lacey is alone – she has my mum to keep her company.
I think back to yesterday. Dancing with Lacey in my arms felt like everything was right in the world. I wanted to kiss her, there on the dance floor, and when she collapsed, I had never felt so scared in all of my life. When the nurse told her that the baby was fine, I wanted to laugh at first, because Lacey wasn’t seeing anyone, not that I knew of. Then, when I realised that she was being serious, it felt like a stab to the gut, because that was the one thing I couldn’t give her, but she managed it with someone else.
I make it back to my flat in no time at all, chucking my keys in the bowl beside my door. I flick off my shoes and notice five other pairs on the floor. I should have known. Walking into my living room, I see my brothers sitting, waiting for me.
“How is she?” Arch is the first to ask, his knee bouncing, one of his nervous tells.
I rub the back of my neck. “She’s fine. The nurses said she was severely dehydrated and needed rest…” They can tell there’s more, so I continue, “She’s…uh…also pregnant.”
When I tell you that you could hear a pin drop, I’m not being dramatic. My brothers each sit there, gobsmacked.
Archie jumps up and hugs me. “OH MY GOD! Cole, that’s amazing! Congratulations…” He trails off when he sees Cas shaking his head at him before looking back at me. “Oh. You’re not the father?”
I blow out a breath and look up, wishing the ground would swallow me whole. I walk over to the kitchen and grab a beer from the fridge before knocking it back. My brothers wait silently for me to talk. Turning back to them, I shake my head. “No, Arch, I’m not the baby’s father…I uh…I can’t have kids. Period.”
Cas nods at me, a sign he’s with me on this. I look to the rest of my brothers and see understanding in their eyes, and thank God, none of them shows pity.
They each get up and surround me in a hug, and for once, it feels good to know I have brothers who are there for me, and I don’t have to pretend to be put together or the older, more mature one. Instead, I do something I haven’t done in a long time – I cry. All while my brothers hold me.
**********
They left an hour ago, all but Cas, who decided to stay for a bit to make sure I was okay.
“Don’t you have a new wife to get home to?” I look at him and smile. He has this dopey, dreamy look on his face whenever he thinks about Emmy.
“Nope.” He pops thep. “It’s shitty box wine night, so I am avoiding it at all costs until I have no choice but to go home. Last time I stayed for shitty box wine, they both got so drunk, I had to stay on the couch because they wanted a ‘sleepover’, and my poor neck cannot hack another night on the couch." He says it like it’s an inconvenience. Still, we all know he would do anything to make Emmy happy, shitty box wine and all.
“Well, I’m going to pack a few things, then head back to the hospital, but you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.”
In the bedroom, I pull the holdall from my wardrobe and pack a few things when Cas asks, “You’re not coming to Vegas, are you?” There is no malice in his tone, just a simple question.
“I’m sor…”
I don’t get to finish my sentence before he shakes his head, then says, “Don’t do that, not with me. Don’t apologise for something that you know full well that if the tables were turned, I would be doing the same thing. Take care of her, Cole. She’s going to need it.” With that, he leaves, and I finish my packing.
**********
Before going back to the hospital, I stop at the shops. Getting my phone out, I Google what women need in early pregnancy. A helpful website suggests that she needs folic acid supplements, so I navigate to the pregnancy section and add a couple of tubs to the basket, along with other vitamins she may need.
The website also emphasises the importance of a healthy diet, so I pick up some different fruits for her to try while she’s in the hospital. Then I notice the beauty section and remember the vanilla-scented moisturiser she uses, so I get that and the body balm for her. I throw in some face masks, her favourite shampooand conditioner, the nice-smelling body wash she has, as well as some new sponges.
If she’s going to be in the hospital for a few days, then she can at least be there in comfort, and it might make her feel a bit better. I leave the shop with three bags full of things for her, everything I could think of to make her smile.
When I get to her room, I knock on the door. Mum opens it from the other side and puts her finger to her lips. Lacey’s in bed, lying on her side, gently snoring away; she seems so peaceful.
My mum gathers her things, and I bend down so she can kiss my cheek. As she does, she says, “She’s very fragile, Cole.”
I understand the meaning, so I nod at her, and she leaves.
I take the bags and empty them on the table next to the bed for when Lacey wakes up; then I lower myself into the chair next to her bed. She’s sleeping deeply and doesn’t stir at all. I take in her beauty, her soft blonde hair, and her lashes fanned out on her cheeks. She looks so peaceful, her closed eyelids hiding away her gorgeous eyes - eyes that usually light up when she gets a crazy idea. For so long, I have wanted to be the one who could give her everything she needs. I imagine what she will look like as gets further along, her stomach round and beautiful. What I wouldn’t give to be the one who gets to hold her, support her and be her rock.
My phone beeps, and I scramble to shut it off before the ringing wakes Lacey up. The screen flashes with messages from Gabby, so I open them up.
Gabby
I’ll give you one more chance, Cole. You can come and collect your things, and we can talk.
