Arielle’s chest tightened, and she clutched the sheet she’d pulled up over her breasts. She’d wondered a million times what she’d say if he asked her on an actual date, and in the beginning, it’d been an exercise in working through her brush-off speech.We’re looking for different things, she’d practiced while standing on line for iced coffee or waiting for an ad in a mobile game to end.I’m not ready for settling down and babies. I’m not going to start wearing only skirts or covering my hair, or switch to a more “appropriate” job if your mother or rabbi thinks mine’s “unseemly.” And I don’t want to pretend to be shomer negiah or anything else I’m not for the public.
The thing was, they were still looking for different things.
And she still wasn’t ready for settling down and babies.
And she still wasn’t going to make any of those changes for him.
And yet, if he asked her right now…
“Shoot,” she said before she could think too hard about it, her heart thudding in her rib cage.
“So, like, this whole thing”—he gestured between them, andthe thudding turned thunderous—“as we’ve established, I haven’t done, well, any of it before. And it’s…” Pink rose into his cheeks, and she thought it might be the first time she’d ever seen him blush. “Does it always feel like this? Like, is this normal, just what it’s like when clothes come off? Or…”
Oh. So, not asking her out then. Okay, well, that was good. Wasn’t it?
“Or am I the best you’ll ever have, ruining you for all the women who’ll come after me?”
Her joke landed flatly between them, and she realized it wasn’t a joke at all; that was, in fact, exactly what he wanted to know. Because they had only two nights left of this, and then… then there’d be different women. Or at least one more woman.
And it wouldn’t be her.
Why did that thought make her so ill?
“I guess, yeah,” he said quietly.
She paused before answering, trying to think of the most careful way to respond. “I can’t tell you that if you just took one of those hotel lobby dates upstairs, it would feel like this. This is…”In-fucking-credible. The best it’s ever been with anyone. Going to absolutely wreck me when it’s over.“Chemistry,” she managed hoarsely. “But yeah, it could be like this with the right person. I mean, notexactlylike this—I’m next level—but you know what I mean.”
“I do know,” he said with a soft smile before surprising her by leaning in and kissing her. “And you are next level; I know that too.”
God, it was way too easy to get lost in this. She’d done casual many times; she knew it didn’t include languid kisses and openly marveling at your partner’s beauty. But Judah was so new at it that she didn’t have the heart or the words to tell him that it’dneverbeen like this for her, that it wasn’t supposed to be—not for what they were doing. Or at least for what they were supposed to be doing; she wasn’t sure what they wereactuallydoing anymore.
For fuck’s sake, he stilltastedlike her. And she couldn’t even be mad at him because she was the one who was supposed to be instructing him on how this goes. She was supposed to kick him out yesterday, sticky clothes and all, rather than letting him linger in her apartment for another couple of hours, wearing her baggiest shorts and T-shirt while she introduced him to the wonderful world of chili-lime chips and incredibly complicated Lego sets.
“Hey.” He curled around her, his fingers grazing her breast so lightly, back and forth, that she wondered if he even knew he was doing it. “I’m guessing it’s not at its finest right now, but, uh, any chance you want some dinner?”
And then there was that. That dangerous date-night thing he’d done. That date-night thing she’d called him on but also secretly maybe a little bit loved.
She knew she should stand by her conviction about it, that sitting down to eat together sent the entirely wrong message.
But… she’d worked up a massive appetite, and it wasn’t just for him. “Lead the way.”
Chapter Thirteen
Judah:Come over around 8?
Judah:This is explicitly a booty call, by the way.
Ari:Does this mean no fancy dinner?
Judah:Well, I can’t speak for you, but I plan to eat very well.
Ari nearly choked on her own tongue. How was it that Judah was still managing to surprise her? Worse, how was he still setting her panties on fire day after day? The night before had involved his dining room table, a can of whipped cream, and hickeys in places she hadn’t even known were possible.
Judah Klein was going to be the death of her.
Ari:Filthy boy.
Ari:I’ll be there.
