When he collapsed bonelessly next to her, it was with the most sated, peaceful look on his face she’d ever seen.
“That was…” He tried to speak, couldn’t. “I think I could literally die happy at this moment.”
She laughed. “I told you, I wasn’t trying to kill you.”
“No, no, it’s fine. That’s exactly how I want to die.”
“I can’t tell if this is morbidity or perversion.”
He opened one eye. “Can’t it be both?”
“Touché.” They lay there lazily in the candlelit dark, taking in the rhythmic sound of the pouring rain in their postorgasmic haze. But as Arielle felt herself start to drift off, she forced herself to break the spell. “Hey, before you kick it, I need a shower. Please tell me you have a clean towel in this place.”
Lightning cracked outside, startling them both. “Uh, I’m actually pretty sure you’re not supposed to shower in a thunderstorm. Hold on a sec.” He climbed out of the bed and disappeared from view. When he returned, it was with a wet towel, and it was indeed clean.
As he started to dab at her chest, her instinct was to take it, let him know she could handle it by herself, thank you very much.But there was only this left between them, only this one act of caring, and then sleep; against her better judgment, Ari decided to accept it.
After all, it was going to have to sustain her for a very, very long time.
Chapter Fifteen
What was getting to Judah as he boarded his flight to Mexico wasn’t that he couldn’t get images from the past week out of his head; that was his norm now. Fiending for one more taste of Arielle Becker was basically his natural state.
No, what was driving him absolutely out of his mind was the stupid way he’d managed to insert her into all theseothervisions.
Sitting next to him at the airport, sharing a bag of chili-lime chips and resting her head on his shoulder as they waited.
Squeezing his hand as the plane took off while listening to him say Tefillat HaDerekh to pray for their safe travels.
Bounding ahead of him into the hotel room and jumping onto the bed, throwing her limbs out like a starfish.
And yeah, the best vision was always the one where they got back to the room at the end of the night, drunk on the Seder’s four cups of wine and then some, giggling and shushing each other as they stripped out of their clothes and climbed into bed. But even in that mental image, she just curled up on his chest and went to sleep, both of them exhausted by the inevitable lateness of the hour.
He’d thought about pretending to be asleep when she’d returned from brushing her teeth with his spare toothbrush the night before. It’d been too perfect—too confusing—a night, and he hadn’t known how to end it without begging her to stay, even though he was the one flying in the morning. He wasstillshocked she’d asked him to play for her, but he’d been careful not to choose anything romantic, even though his head had been swimmingwith options. The last thing he wanted on their last night of the agreed-upon one week of debauchery was to leave on a note of having screwed things up.
But she’d come back to bed wearing his ancient Beastie Boys shirt and nothing else, and he’d decided he didn’t want to shortchange himself out of a minute of time with her. He’d opened up the blanket, welcomed her chilly legs against his warm ones, and spooned her until he felt her breath even out and he himself could nod off.
It had unquestionably been the most romantic night of his entire life.
It was just really, really unfortunate that it was with a woman he shouldn’t have been romancing, and who wasn’t remotely interested in being romanced by him.
It doesn’t matter, he told himself as he slid in his earbuds and flipped through his music collection.Yes, it was an amazing week. Yes, you will probably be reliving it every night until you die. But it’s just physical. Arielle Becker is not your future. There are going to be a ton of single women on this program, and all you have to do is find one who helps you forget her name.
His phone vibrated with a text, and he looked down to see a message from Lev.Even I’ve never seen this one. Your fans are going for some serious deep cuts.Curious, Judah opened the link and was stunned to find a video of himself in which he couldn’t have been more than twelve years old, belting out the high-pitched solo of “Shomer Yisrael.” Against his better judgment, he scanned the comments.
@JGo212:Prepube JK crushing it!
@kdancer007:OMG he is so cute I can’t
@Lumina2000:I am simply living for this
@BettyMax:Why can I not stop watching children sing in a language I don’t even understand???
They kept going and going, some commenting on the underrated harmonies, others noting the humiliatingly snazzy outfits,and way,waytoo many focused on him and his talent and the ridiculously swoopy hair he’d finally cut for his bar mitzvah. He stupidly wondered whether Ari was seeing any of it, then groaned and closed his eyes, willing all thoughts of her to disappear.
Trying to work up some excitement for the trip, he opened the email from Lev with the information about the upcoming week. His schedule wasn’t bad, and the program’s promises of luxury were endless—miles of beach, a well-appointed spa, entertainment every night (only occasionally provided by him), and a stunning hotel room that would put his Upper East Side studio to shame. All good things, exciting things, things bursting with luck and privilege and possibility.
But when they finally called the flight to board, all he could think about was the girl who wasn’t coming with him.
