“You should go,” she said softly.
“It was just Lev. I’m going to LA on Tuesday for a few meetings and a concert, and—”
“Please, Judah. Thank you for the cake, and I accept your apology, but I—I can’t do this. It doesn’t matter what I might feel, because this”—she gestured between them—“is still not a thing that works outside the bedroom, and we both deserve better than that.”
Silence hung heavy in the air at that, and Ari silently begged for him to fill it.Fight me. Convince me I’m wrong. Tell me the two of us can makeanythingwork.
Instead, he said, “Okay.” His voice was so soft in the still room.“If you really want me to go, I’ll go. I mean, I kind of have to—I’m flying to LA in the morning, and it’s not something I can put off. But I’ll be back next week, and I’d really love to see you.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but when tears filled her eyes, she shut it again. The last thing in the world she needed was for Judah Klein to hear her cry.
“Or I guess I’ll see you at the wedding.”
When she still didn’t respond, other than to clutch the blanket tighter to herself, he sighed, dropped a kiss on top of her head, and walked out of the apartment and back into his real life.
Ari waited until she heard the door close behind Judah to finally exhale. Her brain was screaming at her to go after him, to leap into his arms and demand that he stay for good. But it wasso much, and she still had so many questions that neither of them could answer, and all of it rendered her so catatonic that the only thing she could do was hug her knees to her chest.
And then her door burst open, and Liana came storming in, Gideon trailing behind her. “Did Judah justleave? You let himleave?”
“Lee, give her—”
“No way.” Liana crossed her arms and leveled Ari with a glare. “That guy iscrazyabout her, and she iscrazyabout him. Are you seriously letting a bunch of losers on the internet keep you from the happiness you deserve?”
“I am lettingrealitykeep me from… whatever this may or may not be,” Ari said with a firmness in her voice she didn’t remotely feel. “Yes, I like him, and yes, I believe he likes me, but he’s thinking short term, and at some point—and some point soon, because let’s be real about Orthodox Jewish dating in your thirties—the ‘wife’ question is gonna come up, and we all know I am not the answer.”
“I don’t think we do all know that, actually,” said Liana. “I think you’ve decided that being a wife means having a very specific skill set that’s somehow beyond your grasp, and that Judah’s going to expect you to be somebody you’re not. But the guy who just walked out of here knows exactly who you are, Ari. He’s thirty-two years old; he doesn’t need someone who knows how to pack him lunch or bake challah. He just wantsyou.”
Ari’s gaze shifted to Gideon, the voice of reason, waiting for him to tell Liana this was none of their business, but he just quietly said, “He really does, very much.”
“And when it puts his career on the line? When his fandom and the media start pulling his life apart?”
“And findwhat?” Liana demanded. “Oh no, he has a hot girlfriend he adores?”
“You weren’t there.” Ari’s chest squeezed tight as she remembered seeing Judah’s phone light up with comments during their date. As she rememberedJudahseeing his phone light up with comments. “Imagine if Gideon’s friends not only thought you were a downgrade from Meredith but posted that for hundreds of thousands of his followers to see.”
“I have so many questions about that sentence,” said Gideon. “For starters, what do these hundreds of thousands of followers tune in to watch medo?”
Liana sighed. “Not now, Gid.” She turned back to Ari. “You think Gideon doesn’t have friends who like Meredith a thousand times better? He does. But they’re attached to an older version of him, one they associate with Meredith, and as far as they’re concerned, I’m the final nail in the coffin of him joining a religious cult because they’re pissed he no longer parties with them on Friday nights.”
“Yikes.”
“To be clear,” said Gideon, wrapping an arm around Liana’s waist, “she’s talking about two guys who are really weirded out byme becoming religious and thinking it was totally out of the blue instead of, you know, sparked by the most important and gutting thing that’s ever happened to me. Which tells you how much of a shit I give about their opinions.”
“Anyway,” Liana continued, “the point is, it’s not about you. As long as Judah Klein™was single, he was wish fulfillment. A fantasy. Of course people are gonna hate you for landing him. Think about how you felt when you found out Idris Elba was married.”
“People didn’t hate Mira,” she muttered.
“First of all, they sure as hell did,” Liana countered, “and second of all, I’ve seenallthe posts, Ar. There’s not a single moment when Judaheverlooked at her the way he’s looking at you in that one shot.”
That mollified Ari the tiniest bit, but it wasn’t enough. “Some of those comments are by people who know me, by people who are happy to drag my entire hookup history out there. You think Judah wants to be famous for being the guy with the slut? You don’t think that’s gonna hurt his career?”
“I don’t think he wants his entire life to revolve around the fringe Kleinatics who want to believe their idol is pure as the driven snow. Who cares what they think?”
“Pretty sure Judah’s manager does. And the guys he collaborates with. A bunch of his wedding clients. His—”
“Point taken.” Liana held up a hand. “But I think he’d choose you over them in a heartbeat, only you’re not giving him a chance to do that.”
“Hehada chance to do that,” Ari pointed out. “He could’ve spoken up the night Mira’s whole brigade took my slutdom viral.”
