“Yeah, my mum’s in town, and I’m filming a commercial in LA, so I’ll still be here when you come back. It’s a fragrance brand, so they’ll give me free products, too.”
“It’s eau de toilette,” Kai teases.
“Eau de parfum.” Asher rolls his eyes. “Do you even know the difference?”
Kai flashes a grin, mischief dancing in his eyes as he leans in, playfully pressing his shin against the hollow of Asher’s knee. The corners of his lips twitch with amusement when Asher stumbles and nearly falls to the ground, but he catches himself in time.
“What are you, five?” He grunts, shoving Kai aside with his shoulder.
“Don’t kill each other while I’m gone.” I sweep my gaze between them.
“I can’t make any promises,” Kai says. He shrugs and turns to Asher. “I told this guy I’d teach him how to ride a bike, but if you scratch it, I swear…”
Oh? That’s new. Kai rarely lets anyone near his grandpa’s bike, much less ride it. But Asher seems thrilled, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
I wish I could be there to watch him try.
I can’t help but look over my shoulder as Marissa and I drive away, watching my friends’ figures shrink in the distance. These past few weeks have been blissful, but I have this feeling like I just broke the spell, and everything will be different when I return.
I force myself into the present while Marissa and I go over my demos and my upcoming schedule. The Grammys are in a few weeks, which means I should increase my social media presence, and I’ll have to squeeze in a few more interviews, as well as decide on a single for my next album, which I’ll be performing at the ceremony. I’m excited about the album, but the idea of having to throw myself into another press cycle makes my head spin. I feel like Ijustfinished the last one.
Marissa hands me the AUX. I play her the song that I want to be my next single, a tentative smile rising to my lips. It’s so different from anything on the first album. This song is about independence, self-discovery—not love. It’s not even inspired by a fictional story.
This song is just… me.
I’m kind of really proud of it.
“I mean, it’s cool. But is it a single?” Marissa purses her lips. “Don’t get me wrong. I love it. This song should definitely be part of the album. It’s just not what we want for a single, considering the way your fans dissect your lyrics. We need to give them something more cryptic. Like ‘Summer Blues.’”
“Another love song?”
“Love song for now, then a heartbreak one. Anything that will generate engagement.”
I flatten my hands on the dashboard. “I don’t get it. Why can’t my music just be music?”
“Sasha, we need to be careful. This is going to be the lead single of your second album. That’s a major thing—it can make or break your career. Everyone can write an album and be lucky enough to have a couple of hits chart. But your next album will decide if you become a household name or a one-hit wonder. If your first single flops, the rest of the album will, too.”
“Oh.” My neck prickles at the idea.
“Plus, your album has to be cohesive with the narrative we’ve built so far. You and Kai are set to break up in a couple of months. Fans will expect a reaction song. Your first single should be a cryptic love song with a sad undertone. Get your fans wondering if maybe things between you and Kai aren’t as good as they look. Then the breakup is announced, and you come up with a second single, a heartbreak anthem, sonically different from the first one. With fans engaged, the rest of the album will be a success.”
Fuck. The breakup. I had almost forgotten.
“You don’t think I can write an album good enough to stand on its own? Regardless of my relationship status?” I ask.
“Of course I do,” she says. “But this isn’t about you, Sasha. It’s about making sure people pay attention to Sassy.”
I gaze out the window, letting the slow progression of the highway numb me. Once the contract is over, I’ll be free,right? No more wondering aboutthe boyfriend, no more articles about how in love I am. I can finally be something other than a girl in love.
I’ve been thinking about Kai and me living together. I don’t know how the news about our breakup would mesh with us finding a place. Why would Sassy move in with her recent ex?
Marissa regards me with a quizzical expression. “I saw the way Kai hugged you before we left… and the way he talked about you. Is it safe to say you guys are in… a better place? Are things back to the way they used to be?”
I hug my legs to my chest, letting my eyes drift out the window. I mean, three months ago things were awkward and now they’re not, but I wouldn’t say things are back to how they used to be. When Kai reappeared in my life, I was so anxious to recapture what we had, minus the romance. But we’re no longer the same people, and I like this version of ourselves better. It’s more seamless. I like the Kai who’s not my boyfriend. He’s my best friend. A partner, of sorts.
“We are,” I say, hoping she doesn’t catch the edge of uncertainty in my voice. I don’t know how to discuss this with Marissa. Sometimes I feel like she wants me to be Sassy full-time. There’s very little space for Sasha lately.
“We should talk about the next steps for the breakup.”
