My eyes dart across the front yard as my brain races to catch up. How is he here? Where’s the music coming from?
“A gift from my grandpa. He came up with a new combo. It’s called the Grammy Winner.” He waves the cup in front of me, a stream of melted frozen yogurt dripping down the side.
“Why is it melting?” I ask. “How long have you been standing there?”
“It is crying… because you are not eating it,” he teases, but his eyes turn serious when they meet mine. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.” I let him in and take slow steps toward my room, since there are too many boxes scattered across the living room for us to sit down, but silence hangs between us. I want to tell him I’ve missed him, but traces of our last conversation play through my mind. This is the first time we’re meeting in person since I ended the contract. I pretty much kicked him out of my life… again.
I hurt him again.
It feels like forever ago, although it’s only been a couple of months. We’re no longer a fake couple, and he’s in a relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still a little mad at me for the way things went down, for the pain he and Asher went through.
“I like your new place,” Kai says. He looks around, scanning my room. I frown at the open window as another one of my favorite songs echoes from somewhere outside, this time an anime intro. Seriously, where’s that coming from? Before I can peek out, Kai speaks again. “Were you busy?”
“Just trying to put together a shelf,” I say, shrugging. He winces. “What? I’m succeeding!”
“It’s falling apart, isn’t it?” he says. “Like that time you helped me put together my bedside table, and it fell apart while I was sleeping. I almost had a heart attack.”
“It was structurally unsound.”
“Yeah, because you forgot the screws…”
I roll my eyes, trying a spoonful of the Froyo. The tangy sweetness of the tart dances on my tongue, mingling with the chocolate syrup and the chewy mochi on top.
Despite the lingering tension in the air, this feels right in a strange way.When Kai and I are together, a feeling of peace washes over me, like I belong here, in this moment.
He gives me a look. “How is it?”
“It’s really good,” I admit. “How did you know I’d like this combo?”
“I guess I just know you,” he says, taking a seat on the rug, his attention drifting to the pieces scattered there.
“Better than anyone,” I say under my breath.
It’s true. Mia, Asher, Sonia, my moms—they all understand me in their own ways. They see me, reallyseeme. But there’s something about Kai. When he looks at me, he seesthroughme, the shape of my soul, the kaleidoscope in its true shapes and colors.
“You know that’s true for me, too, right? You know me better than anyone,” he says. “I miss you, Sash.”
“I miss you, too.” My heart clenches. I pace the room, unable to meet his eyes. Another song starts playing outside. “Once Asher’s team says it’s okay, we should all hang out. Mia’s in town, too—”
Kai’s fingers wrap around my wrist, tugging me to the rug. “Listen, I’m serious about Asher. I think I love him. I wanted to tell you.”
“Good, you two deserve—”
“Let me finish.” He grabs the Levi plushie from the bed and hurls it at me. “When I think of who I want to spend the rest of my life with, I don’t just think of him, Sasha. I think of you, too.” He looks down at his hands, playing with the rings on his fingers in the way he does when he’s trying to gather his words. “Not in a romantic way. It’s just… in a soulmate type of way. Look, who says that people can only have one soulmate anyway? Boring shit, if you ask me.”
Who says people can only have one soulmate anyway? Society, I almost reply. But society also says there’s no space for people like me, that to be aro or ace is to be alone.
Fuck that.
“I meant what I told you back then. You’re not going tolose me,” he says. “I want, no, I need you in my life. Every day for the rest of our lives. I want us to live together one day. To travel places. To make long-term plans without having to worry about who’s going to take off first this time.” Deep brown eyes lock on mine. “I want to be the person you come home to.”
The person you come home to.
A memory flashes through my mind. Asher and me, on a balcony in London. He asked me what love was, and I told him it was the person you wanted to come home to.
I make a sound between a laugh and a scoff, blinking away the tears that rush to my eyes. The bastard… He had something to do with this, didn’t he?
